Look So Married & Fatherly

Since 3 to 4 years ago…

Whenever someone (whom I have yet to know too well) approaches me and asks me to buy something, they go “Sir, would you like to get these for your wife/children?”
Just a few hours ago, a *little pal (promoting flowers) asked me this question again.

Whenever someone (whom I have yet to know too well) asks me out for a simple gathering, they go “Hey Nanzi, you may bring your wife and children along.”
This happened again, just a few months ago.

Guess that I must have that kind of blissful look, well taken care of and well supported by a capable wife, and surrounded by countless of wonderful kids. Heh.. I certainly look so married and fatherly. Right!

Haha.. Nevertheless, I find it quite funny.

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假面的告白

星期六的早上，我突然觉得疲累，
坐在公园的石椅上，
决定定摘下带了许久的头盔。
很多事情是没有原因的，
我顺畅的呼吸，却感到焦虑。
慎重的思考，
应该脱下兽皮，
或是重新带上威武的头盔。

Taken For Granted?

"How can she take me for granted?", he questioned rhetorically. He went on asking more difficult questions. The facial expression he wore certainly suggested a not-so-delightful situation. Mm..

Putting his story aside, I asked myself, " Have I ever been taken for granted?"

I don't think so. Or at least I hardly feel that way.

I kind of like the saying :
When we give fully without wanting anything in return, we receive as much as we give.

Of course, if our giving is reciprocated, it is going to be a bonus, a priceless bonus. If our giving is not reciprocated, I do admit the feeling can be a little not-so-nice (initially), for I usually think I must have not practised the giving in an appropriate way. I would then think about it and thereafter work towards betterment.

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巨人的苹果

刚开始只是开出一朵较大的红花，
接著飞来一只怪怪的蜜蜂，
然後只是结了一颗不太一样的果子，
谁也不晓得会变成这样。
世界上所有的恐怖，
不都是这样慢慢发生的吗？

A Parent’s Point of View ..

A fellow colleague is not feeling too well today and I ended up taking up his CT-role for the day. It was supposed to be simple. Yet I got a direction from the management to call up a parent of a student from that class which I only met for 15 minutes. Talking to parents has always been my weakest link… erm… Talking to one whose child I have not even met before is really weird.

I tried, nevertheless and I think I failed (miserably) in achieving the management’s aim. By the way, I was tasked to counsel the mother not to let her son withdraw. Kaoz.. I am not convinced that the kid must stay in the first place. Just how convincing can I sound later, when I call?

~ The ship should not be there :
I should not be the one making the call ~
I felt quite a bit "misplaced".

However, if things are unavoidable, I just got to learn to relax and enjoy. In fact, the conversation indeed got a little "interesting" at some points.

(1) The mother was trying to impress (I think) by saying at great length of how she herself went through her JC days and understands how JC lessons are like. But she expressed how surprised she was that there are no longer any commerce courses in the present JC system any more. Mm.. Okay, she was from the commerce stream while in the JC days herself. But commerce courses had stopped since 2001 leh, I think. Not too well-informed hor. :P

(2) She added that she is not really against the idea for her son to continue to attend his lessons here with us, but if her son has no interest in the lessons, then there is no point in doing so. Besides, she claimed that she has also gone through the subjects offered by JCs and see no relevance at all to his son’s aspiration and decision. Aiyo.. How am I going to continue the conversation? Mm..

(3) She raised a point towards the end of the conversation, suggesting that we are too serious on our students even during the first-three-month. And that might drive students away. To her, first-three-month should be relax and easy-going and most students will be behaving so anyway. Wa.. *Ahem.. I have to correct her on that, of course.

(4) Interestingly, she said she welcomes that we talk to her son also. However, she had already directed her son to come to college tomorrow and to talk to our Principal directly. Mm… Then what is there to talk to the kid?

Don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting any wrongness with any party. I do see why the mother talked in this way, I do see why the management wants to make such a stand, I do see why the student doesn't find any relevance here, I do see how their views somehow contradict each other. Haha.. But "seeing why" is one thing ; "accepting it" is another.

Being a CT can be quite tough lor and I don’t think I can ever do it well.
Hehe.. But it is only a one-day-stint for me (luckily). :P

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有一位圣者这么说：

心体的整顿，
宁可委屈自己、圆融人事；
宁可牺牲自己、利益众生；
宁可顾损自己、拥护大体；
宁可放下自己、当下正觉。

I have HIV

“I have HIV”, he said.

He then explained..
HIV = Hair Is Vanishing.

That was L’s saying, this morning! He was trying to describe his thinning hair problem in a more attention-grabbing way. Heh.. You should see the many strange stares darted at him when he announced it to quite a crowd, before he explained.

The confusion here was intentional, no doubt. But what if L really never know the more popular representation of HIV and he was merely being creative in his description? We know he will certainly be misunderstood, although this is never the way he likes.

Have you ever been misunderstood? I dearly hope not, for I don’t think it’s going to be a nice feeling.

Don’t get it wrong.
It is not about to attack.
It is just yawning.
It is probably at the same time saying, "Sianzz...."

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"Glamorise" Globalisation?

We (okay, or maybe just me) used to "glamorise" globalisation.
I am not saying it is a bad thing, but... mm... now I see there are "winners" and "losers" in this game.

An article (here) does provide quite a different insight.

An after-thought (but thinking out of the context of the article now) …
Must there always be “winners-and-losers relationship” in a game, in general? We learnt in books that ideally it should be a “win-win” outcome. But in practice, do people think “win-win” or work towards “win-win”? Or simply talk “win-win”, but working towards more personal gains?

Heh.. Maybe I am just super uncompetitive in nature.
让你赢吧！
老实说我也不懂你赢了什么。
坦白说我也不觉我输了什么。
因为一开始我们什么都没有。
而到最后我们什么也带不走。

人类很多时候就是太会为自己打算
打起如意算盘倒是精得很
可是往往人算不如天算妙

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有一位圣者这么说：

一切
求我先改变、求我先付出、求我先反省、求我先提升、
不问收获、只问耕耘、
默默的付出、默默的牺牲，
成就就是你。

A Little Account : Moving with Time...

A random paragraph I've just read :

In 1816 waltzing was condemned as a “fatal contagion” that encouraged promiscuity; in 1910 films were denounced as “an evil pure and simple, destructive of social interchange”; in the 1950s rock 'n' roll music was said to turn young people into “devil worshippers” and comic books were accused of turning children into drug addicts and criminals. In each case the pattern is the same: young people adopt a new form of entertainment, older people are spooked by its unfamiliarity and condemn it, but eventually the young grow up and the new medium becomes accepted—at which point another example appears and the cycle begins again.

- from The Economist, January 20th – 26th

This paragraph somehow captivated my attention for a while.

I kind of ask myself :

Is there anything I can’t accept now, but I may grow to accept it later?
Mm.. Unthinkable.

Since I may be accepting it later, why not accepting it now?
Crazy.. Haha..

Through the passage of time, changes are inevitable. We, the human in general, can even change the way we perceive things. We call this moving with time? The mental faculty of ours is just too intricate and complicated for me to comprehend at times.

Still, I hope certain things don’t change and I can't wait for certain things to change. Well, my list is actually quite long, but no worries, I wouldn’t want to bore you with the list. You certainly have your fair share of items.

How about perceiving all animals as "equal", as "friends"?

She said, “My brother says…”

I walked towards ZL to check on her work and she said, “My brother says you are … (some complementary words, too shy to write here).”

I went “Huh?”

She added, “My brother’s name is ZD. You don’t remember? He is born in the year 1985.”

I remember that batch pretty well, each and every one that I had tutored. Hence, I am so sure ZD was never in any of my class. The name is just a little … erm… not-that-familiar. And I said, “I don’t think I tutored your brother before.”

To affirm what I’d just said, she mentioned, “Oh. True. You were his lecturer occasionally only.”

In response, I said as a-matter-of-factly, “He was from class 2xx.”
Looking at her expression, this statement obviously stunned her… heh… for I actually remember her brother’s class correctly even without tutoring him before. I think I’m not-that-bad in recalling numbers. :P

So don’t be too shock if I can recall your NRIC number if I ever processed some personal administrative tasks on your behalf. Kidding.. Haha.. I’ve got better things to remember. :P

Actually, my main purpose of writing this silly account is to remind myself, whatever I do/say/think/share now, these *little pals are watching/absorbing/evaluating. In other words, my thoughts/actions may affect them. And words get around. I can only hope whatever effects already “effected” are all tending towards the more positive sense.

We really need to be mindful of our ways, and not because someone is watching.
But in any case, we know what we are doing, HE knows what we are doing too.

~ ~ Serving its Purpose ~ ~

This picture came to my mind, reminding me that I may not be perfect, but as long as I serve my purpose in life ...

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有一位圣者这么说：

「我执」是心灵的大包袱。
它侵蚀了慈悲的热能，它掩藏了智慧的光明。

『整修门面』

人类为了『整修门面』(修饰外表)，可以“不惜一切代价” …
如 …

如果我们有察觉我们的品格、品性有不妥之处，
我们会不会有同样的决心来修正呢？

然而，
上苍不是要看我们的这一张脸，看是否有个好脸蛋；
而是在默视着我们的这一颗心，看是否有个好心田。

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有一位作者这么说：

不要要求别人百分百；因为自己也不是百分百。

我想一想 …

我想一想 ...
Mm...
是该如此、理当这样 ...
心会痛，但是也会有感动。
Mm...

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Talking About Dislikes…

Over the years, we must have heard quite many (amusing) accounts of how people dislike
- their country,
- their workplace,
- their school,
- their neighbourhood,
- their colleagues,
- their friends,
- people they crossed their path, or even… erm..
- their family, etc.

In other words, they bear their negative feelings about their (immediate) environment.

True, those are personal accounts and by all means should be respected for at least their individualistic.

Some thoughts just crossed my mind…

If _____ is already good and fine, the "goodness" and "fineness" are not because of me. Sure, I can enjoy its "goodness" and "fineness". But… Am I more likely to make it better, finer? Or Am I more likely to contaminate its "goodness" and "fineness"? Heh.. You?

If _____ is really no good by whatever yardstick I am using, and by some stroke of luck, I ended up with it. Then how? Should I just lament over my ill fate? Then complain and complain unconstructively… Or Should I, by my little ways, make it better? Heh.. You? By and large, I know the initial "badness" is also not because of me. But if I (and everyone) were to merely condemn and loathe it, it only can turn more pathetic (at least in my own eyes) and the next new higher level of "pathetic-ness" is then because of me?

“Strange” flow of thoughts, I know…
“More strange ones” no sharing tonight… :P

笨笨的我这么想：
会不会若是让你看到了『不圆满之处』，
那是上苍让你有将之『改过』的荣耀？
我们若只会一味的抨击，
这世界不会因此而变得更圆满，
反而更可能有变本加厉的因素存在。

说着说的，我的心又飞到了那里 ...

New Zealand - South Island - Kairuru Farm Stay - December 2006
~ Courtesy of F & DY ~

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- - 撑着不死 vs 好好活着 - -

大热天，禅院里的花被晒萎了。
「天哪，快浇点水吧！」
小和尚喊着 , 接着去提了桶水来。

「別急！」
老和尚说：
「现在太阳大，一冷一热，非死不可，等晚一点再浇。」

傍晚，那盆花已经成了「霉干菜」的样子。
「不早浇……」
小和尚咕咕哝哝地说： 　
「一定已经死透了，怎么浇也活不了了。」

「少啰嗦！浇！」老和尚指示。

水已经下去，没多久，已经垂下去的花，
居然全站了起来，而且生意盎然。

「天哪！」
小和尚喊：
「它们可真厉害，憋在那儿，撑着不死。」

「胡说！」
老和尚纠正：「不是撑着不死，是好好活着」

「这有什么不同呢？」小和尚低着头。

「当然不同。」
老和尚拍拍小和尚：
「我问你，我今年八十多了，我是撑着不死，还是好好活着？」

晚课完了，老和尚把小和尚叫到面前问：
「怎么样？想通了吗？」

「没有。」小和尚还低着头。

老和尚敲了小和尚一下：「笨哪！一天到晚怕死的人，
是撑着不死；每天都向前看的人，是好好活着。」

「得一天寿命，就要好好过一天。
那些活着的時候天天为了怕死而拜佛烧香，
希望死后能成佛的，绝对成不了佛。」