Of Microscope -&- Of Telescope

Microscope : A scientific instrument that makes extremely small things look larger.

Telescope : A piece of scientific equipment shaped like a tube, used for making distant objects look larger and closer.

No worries, I'm not getting anywhere scientific.
I just feel like talking a little bit about human flaws/shortcomings : bad temper, behavioural ugliness, character imperfections, selfishness, stubbornness, ... (we know the list goes on...)

Okay, let's admit. Who don't have any flaws or shortcomings of any sort? Heh.. Who knows our flaws/shortcoming best? Not necessarily ourselves. (所谓：当局者迷也) Our best friends or family members will/should know us best. (所谓：旁观者清也)

I think the best way to improve ourselves is to identify our areas for improvement - AFIs.
Hence, isn't it considered a blessing if our friends tell us so. I mean tell us what our AFIs are. Let's be brave enough to face it. We do have our own AFIs.

However, in this society, I often hear people "slamming" each other, if not openly than discreetly.
"This so-and-so is so @#$%^ "
"She is just a *&%$@# "
"I don't believe anyone could do such a thing like $#@%!$ "
"I think he is $#@%! ",
"I just don't just his ^%#&$! ""and many more crude ones which you have heard of before.

I not saying we cannot have opinions of our own. But how do all these "slamming" help us? Sharpen our observation skills? Making us "holier-than-thou"? There is simply no "net improvement" to any party. Believe me, when we observe/judge others, at the same time others are also observing/judging us. Why entangle ourselves in such a vicious-cycle?

Let's stand back... but still observe!
When indeed we see the flaws and shortcomings of others, we just need to remind ourselves whether we have any of those flaws and shortcomings. If yes, we must understand how equally "disgusting" we are. If no, please thank our "guardian angels" for leading us well.
If we have a bigger heart, try to feel a little sorry for these people whom we think are in the wrong. We know they are "plunging" and should we not give a helping hand?
What I'm trying to say may be "slamming" need not occur, be it openly or discreetly. Mm...
(所谓：见贤思齐焉，见不贤而内自省也)

I try to bring you to another perspective.
When I asked, "Who knows our flaws/shortcomings best?" The better answer is actually your lover. That is simply because both of you will naturally spend so much time together. You can say how perfect and sweet your lover is. But do you remember how many times you quarrelled over something (maybe even seemingly trivial things) with your lover. There were disagreements. It hurts (like hell). There may be wounds left behind. However, after a while, you all forgive each other, still come together, apparently knowing each other better. It is love, not time, that heals.

Therefore, putting love, in the broadest sense, how should we look at the flaws/shortcomings of others after admitting that everyone has flaws and shortcomings?

Some people suggest :
(1) Use a telescope to look at flaws of others. Yes, we admit the flaws are there. The flaws are theirs. It's not really going to hurt us. Leave their flaws far far away, at a distance that really requires a telescope to look at, if we want to. Scrutinizing them brings us no merit in any sense. Use a microscope to look at our flaws. Hey! Come on. Dig out our own dirt and clean them away. We do want to be a better person, don't we?

(2) Use a microscope to look at the virtues of others. It's there. Dig it out. Learn the good points of others. If we just learn one good point from each person that crosses our path, we will be so superb. Use a telescope to look at our virtues. *Ahem. we cannot be that rotten right? Occasionally, let's ascertain ourselves and give a pat on our own shoulders. We need not blow it out of proportion. Just an occasional check that we are doing fine and move on.

If we only can see flaws and shortcomings of others...
That's most worrying...
For what we see or feel is somewhat a reflection of our inner soul.
A saint sees hope in every beings. That's why he/she is always trying, always trying to make a positive difference...
Need I say more? :)

* The author is not trying to teach or preach, but just to share. The author is also trying hard to remind himself to practise what he believes in. No doubt at times, he may fail miserably. The learning shall continue.