Being (Not) Myself?

Some (very) random recollections…

I am scared of (big) spiders and snakes. But when these creatures are to threaten people around me, I don’t know where I can gather enough courage to confront them. Till this day, I still feel uneasy to have confronted that over-a-metre-long black cobra. I was merely about 20 year-old but the eldest in the group. They were scared shitless and I couldn’t do nothing. So.. erm.. That cobra ended in really bad shape.

我也觉得人从嘴里吐出来的东西非常恶心。
可是我也毫不犹豫地、不只一回，帮人清理那污秽的东西。
对方已经那么不舒服了，我也不可能计较那么多了。

Many times, I prefer to just sit around listen to people talking. Still when I’m in a group, I am often perceived as “talkative”. Maybe because I often meet people that are even more reserved than me. I get a little concern that they might be bored and so I just talk and talk although I prefer listening to talking. Maybe I ended up, bored them even more. Haha..

我对吃的也没有什么讲究。
若是一个人，单单只有面包、饼干、水果，我也是这样过一天。
可是如果有朋友相约、相伴，
我就非常愿意载他们到本地各个角落与他们分享好吃一点的。

I think being pricked by needles is gross and scary and therefore blood donation is unthinkable, for an even thicker needle will have to be used.
But when I think of the patients who might need them badly, or even one fine day I may need such donated blood myself, the fear indeed becomes more bearable, the process becomes more meaningful.
I just have to tell myself, afterall it’s just a small needle, and not anything near those throat-cutting parangs-look-alike used in the meat-industry.
They are just after my blood, not my meat.
And many people survived it, so can I.

+ Many other instances, I think …

Am I often not being myself?
Or maybe that is already certain aspect of being myself?
(o: hahah :o)

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有一位作者这么说：

在现实人生里，
我们会因不同的因缘而有所选择崇拜信仰的宗教，
也因宗教各有其不同的教义、教规、教制，
以致人心常常限制于其中，
甚至自生分别计较，
而难以见其本源。

其实，若能回归到圣佛的生命源头，
则可以发现他们均在体现这个灵明的本心而已，
原是圆融无碍。