“自疗”

On the journey back home, L was doing most of the talking. That was a little unusual because I’m supposed to be the more talkative one. Our conversation seemed very simple, but somehow, I like the little conclusion.

She was relating how weird one of her male flat mate is. She was once wrongfully accused by him something she didn’t do (.. the details are not important here.. ). From then onwards, they never communicate at all, conveniently ignoring each other’s existence.

However, while she was relating and I was listening, some things changed. She began to see how poor thing that flat mate is. Weird he may be, she feels that he is super lonesome and so far away from his friends and family. She began to see that she herself might be a little 小气 also. In her words, “I think I’m a little 小气 . I simply just ignore him. It has been so long already. Maybe I shall try to at least smile and say a ‘hello’ to him.”

I am not really concerned with how weird that guy is (at this moment). Here, I am impressed with the way L faced her ‘flaw’, admitting it openly and willing to make changes to herself.

How many times we really look into ourselves?
I know many of us are just experts at looking at others.
- Oh, he is so good.
- OMG, she is such a hypocrite.
- Ee, he is crappy.
- Aiya, she CMI lah.
- Chey, he is so selfish.
- Alemak, she is … , the list just goes on.

During the not-so-frequent times that we actually do, how are we dealing with it? I mean we look at ourselves and see the flaws; do we make any effort in rectifying them?
I observed that many people seem to be quite comfortable with what they are or who they are already. Heh..
- Yah, I am not good
- Oh dear, I am such a hypocrite
- Ha… I can be that crappy
- Wa.. I really CMI leh
- Mm.. I know I’m selfish
- Argg.. I’m just.. , and the list can go on, too.
But, “That’s me! Hehe.. “

Yet at times, we are even "powerful" enough to point-finger at others. Haha..

~ A Step Taken : A Step Closer ~
I have to admit, I am a man with a lot of flaws.
I don’t know how long I will take to rectify all of them. It takes time.
I can only strive on.
A step taken is a step closer, they say.
I am simply impressed with L in a way.
Her way of “自疗” by simply talking about it, is kind of cool.
Glad for her somehow.
Glad that she can let go one of her dislike-feeling towards another person.

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有一位圣者这么说：

常见自己过，与道即相当。
若见他人非，我非却是左，
他非我不非，我非自有过。
你们要当丢垃圾的人，还是装垃圾的人，或者是清除垃圾的人呢？