Reconnect with Y

To me and many others, Y is considered “lost” (at the moment).

- He wants to study / revise himself.
- He skipped classes so many times (knowing full well he has crossed the disciplinary line).
- He doesn’t prepare tutorials well and on the rare occasions that he did, the quality of work done is questionable. He only attempts the easy questions, the thinking components were largely left undone.
- He flunked most (if not all) his papers.
- He pulls a real long face when spoken to, regarding his studies and/or attitude.
- He blamed his parents for not trusting him.
- He may even feel that the teachers are unnecessarily getting too hard on him.

Mm.. What am I to do?

The fact :
He is really studying, pretty much on his own. Not in the college, not at home, but at various fast food restaurants.

Another truth :
He is certainly not coping. Just look at his results and his unpreparedness.
So only the Mac Donald’s managers and sales team can give evidences that his is (at least) hardworking (or not).

I have to admit, I was angry with his attitude (but not with him). I also can’t bear to leave him alone. Haiz.. We had quite a long conversation over the phone.

- I am frank enough to tell him (nicely) that his actions are not proper, as a student.
- I laid out my concerns for him. He knows how real they are.
- I told him he is merely revising history (past topics) and neglecting current affairs (current topics). He will always be trailing, I reasoned with him.
- I still render my *service to assist him, if he can tahan my voice. Ha.. Of course, he is welcomed to approach anyone as long as he wants to learn and allow someone to guide him more, in order “to see the light”.
- I lead him to see that the present evidences (he has provided) are all against him and he shouldn’t be blaming his parents or the college management. He has to be responsible for his own actions. That is to say, even if his parents were to question him and even if the disciplinary department were to “pound on” him, he has to take them as a man.
- Yes, we talked about some immediate actions. And when those are done, we should be talking about (very) near future plans.

Surprisingly, he seemed to be listening (or that’s how I’d perceived it to be). More surprisingly, our conversation seemed to be rather relaxed. I can only hope he can do something for himself and allow people around him to assist him.

There is still hope for him to turn around.
And I only hope I'm doing the right thing.

~ ~ Connection Options ~ ~

There are simply many ways we can connect with someone. While the options are great, the fundamental principles remain pretty much the same, I think. Are we sincere? Don't ask what we can get out of this friendship, but what we can contribute to enhance it. Look for the good in them, and tell them when we find it. And so on...

- - - - - - - -

经验告诉我
我只能包容
但不能纵容 …

记忆提醒我
我可以疼爱
但不可溺爱 …

回想过去一段，也许是
太过没有原则的顺从、
过于没有界限的关怀，
才会伤了对方、累了自己。咳 …