My Hopeless-Nervousness

I hope to have conquered my hopeless-nervousness when placed on stage (or something that looks like a stage, or anything that makes me feel that I’m on a stage) with so many pairs of eyes glancing over. But I guess I am still far from it.

It is quite funny actually. I mean for so many years in my career, there are already countless of such “opportunities” and yet ... mm ... the “symptoms” become so predictable.
- I don’t felling like eating (as much)
- strange feeling (butterflies??) in the stomach
- more frequent toilet-visits
- become less chatty
- if I were to talk, I can be a little bit incoherent
- appears like concentrating on something, but actually I am pretty dazed
- palms turn almost icy cool
- and my utterance on stage often sound different from normal
- etc.

Silly right?! Haha..

And yet, whenever I was approached by friends to face such “opportunities” ...
- I could hardly so “no”.
- It’s not that I enjoy such “symptoms” enveloping me.
- I try to take it as another opportunity to conquer my hopelessly-nervousness.
- I always remember they were quite relief when I say “yes”.
- I am just glad they think I can be of some help.
- etc.

People around me speculate (obviously they had seen what I was going through) ...
- I must have take it too seriously
- I must have set too high a standard myself
- etc.

But.. mm .. Such thoughts hardly went through my mind leh.

Wa.. Some pals.. best lor.. Suggest that all I need is to have more such exposure. Haha..

You know what?
Because of the print in red (above), I think I am still willing to go through the print in blue (above).
Yes, I know I may be still far from it.
But I guess, I am one step nearer.

Congrats, HS & SL! :o)

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Luke 10:38-42
At the Home of Martha and Mary

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said.

But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

- - -

为了生命，为了生活，我们每天都要做很多的营谋。
虽然知道人生不过百岁光阴，有时也忙得无法悠闲清醒。
我们也知道，『三寸气在千般用，一旦无常万事休。』可是，仍然放不下。

马利亚不是不帮忙马大，而是自觉地要先确定光明的道路。
惟有先立乎其大者，才不会受将来的一切俗物所缠困。