Please! Don’t study that hard…

When did I last write? I have lost the momentum, I guess. Heh..

L studied for a test...
His mind went blank during the test...
He scribbled whatever that came to his mind, making his scripts looked more like scraps of rough papers...
当时，他的内心一定很慌 …

His tutor (T) commented about him, in front of his whole class during a tutorial lesson, almost immediately after the test : L what happen to you? You merely submitted some rough papers.
T 一定是在想：你到底在搞什么鬼？？！！

I am quite sure T’s tone wasn’t too harsh. Still, the comment must have hurt L more.
无意的伤害也是伤害...

T hesitated to probe further when he noticed that L seemed to be feeling very bad. L actually tried to explain, but no words came out of his mouth, only some simple random hand-gestures almost implying “I also don’t know why”. He must have felt horrible, stressed out and very reproachful of himself because of his poor performance.

T can only generally tell the entire class to continue to work hard. L was then left alone... and the intended lesson continued...

But…

That night, L thought of calling T to explain (although T never demanded an explanation), but he cut off the line just during the first ring, leaving no missed-call-message on T’s phone.

L then requested his mother to call T to explain on his behalf instead...
请你帮我跟老师解释…

But while he was making the request, he broke down and cried, only making his parents more worried...

His parents observed that he also behaved strangely thereafter and pulled him off from college for the next two days, and also to seek medical attention.

T can’t help but ask himself : Did I trigger it? Mm...

T really misses the usual smile on L's face ...

I always wish these *little pals will study very hard. So it’s kind of weird for me to say, “Please don’t study that hard…”
But that’s my conclusion in such context. Mm...

- - - - - - - - - -

~ ~ Wrong Way ~ ~
We have to be on our way.
But it's dangerous to be on the wrong way.

Just small talks ...

G really studies very hard. His learning attitude is solid. He makes it a point to make appointments with his tutors to clarify his doubts.

Many times, the longer I sat with him during consultations, the more worried I became. I was worried because of the kind of questions he asked. The kind of questions he often asked during tutorial sessions would often (if not always) make almost all (if not all) his classmates "turn-head", wondering why such questions can be asked in the first place. Mm..

Even his classmates were asking (me) : Mr Nanzi, how come G studies so hard, asked so many questions, but still failing all the time.

Let's be positive... he has an inquiring mind...

Lately, G talks :

Mr Nanzi, how you study? You were a student before. I believe you must know the answer well.. I mean I have problem concentrating. I study very hard, but still keep failing..

Sometimes, it is so frustrating. It feels very much like the whole world is tumbling down on me. It also feels bad when the people around me seem to be always getting it so fast, but I…

I always believe that if I were to persevere on. I will certainly certainly get it in the end. So I wish to find the correct methods, so that I can eventually excel.

- - - - - -

Here we have a young man with an aspiring mind. That's for sure.

I got to admit, before I know him better, I thought this G is trying to be funny and not doing his part of revising the basic of basics. On a few occassions, I even raised my voice in order to make my point clearer to him that I was not quite in favour of his attitude, before I knew that he was already trying so hard.

I got softened when he talked to me in one of our earlier conversations :

Mr Nanzi, I know you are worried about me. But not to worry. I will try very hard and I will make you proud of me one day.

You know, just like in my Secondary School days, my grades weren't good. But I studied very hard and now I made it into JC. My teachers said only about top 20% to 25% make it into JC. So I had make it once to prove it that I can be good.

This time round, I will certainly make it again.

- - - - -

He is that determined. That's very certain.

I don't have answers to all his questions as to how to improve.. blah blah blah.. He has some learning difficulties I just couldn't specifically identify.

I just learnt that I got to have more patience (with him) than I think I already have.

As long as he is not giving up, there is hope.

I can only encourage him to seek consultation more frequently to clarify his doubts of the subjects he is studying. I just have to make a conscious effort to give him more attention.

Many times, it is through such simple small talks with these *little pals that I learn...
I hope I'm really learning...

很多人想飞得高、看得远

己力不足而借用他力，何尝不可

- - - - - -



有一位作者这么说：

《智慧来自烦恼》

春蚕吐丝 - 猜一成语

看到了只是看到
听到了只是听到
不要产生好恶

因为心里有了好恶的分别
就会有所执著

喜爱的就想占有
讨厌的就会排斥
患得患失，烦恼就来了

错把无常当做永恒
不希望接受无常的事实
烦恼就会出现

事情发生了
能够处理的就处理
不能处理的就接受

然后暂且放下来
待因缘际会时再处理
这就是智慧

时时观察自己微细的念头
不要被自己蒙蔽

烦恼来时、不要害怕、不要讨厌、让它烦去
自己不烦、久而久之、烦恼会愈来愈少

遇到烦恼、要面对它
接受它、处理它、放下它

有烦恼的时候
不要把它当成困扰，就没有烦恼

不论外在的境界如何变化
情绪都不会受到牵动
那么，就可以断除烦恼了

如感觉到有烦恼、有问题、先检讨自己
不责怪他人、埋怨环境、烦恼是自己的

当自己发现起烦恼时
要感谢使你产生烦恼的人、事、物
因为，他们是在帮助你修行

外在的帮助、只能暂时解决自己的问题
而不能穿透问题的根源、真正解决问题

唯一有效方法、就是仰赖自己
透过修行、来解决自己的问题

不自找烦恼，就是智慧
智慧生於烦恼而用於烦恼

烦恼既是菩提

谜底 – 作茧自缚

My Date on 14th Feb..

Since so many sites were talking about their dates on 14th Feb, I think I shall also try to write a little bit about my date on 14th Feb.

It started with D initiating about 2 weeks ago : Do you have a date on 14th Feb?

I replied : No.

Without much hesitation, D added : Can we have an appointment on that day, evening time.

Wow! Yes! Of course! Certainly! Why not?

I stayed composed and I only said : Sure.

Things were set and I was only hoping 14th Feb could come sooner. So it finally came.

Ha.. I was rather excited. I actually went much earlier.

The details … erps… I don’t think I’m good at writing such. Haha.. But maybe I can still jot down a few memorable bits and pieces.

1. The chosen venue was very clean. Not too crowded. Peaceful ambience.

2. The lighting a little too strong. I mean it was very bright. So bright I can see D and the surrounding so clearly. Ha.. Actually, it was much to my liking.

3. Simple chat followed and it was suggested that I should change to something lighter for the next activity. Wa.. Everything was already so well-prepared for me. Impressed.

4. I was next lead to.. erm.. lead to a room. The furnishing in the room was simple and neat. It seemed that the main attraction in the room was the bed. The bed was new, big and clean. I bounced on it. Wa.. Very comfortable, much comfortable than my own bed.

5. Looking at D was comforting and reassuring. I can still imagine D’s delicate and precise touch.

6. One event leads to another naturally, expending much of my energy. Details censored.

.
.
.
.
.
Haha..
Before your imagination runs any wilder.. ahem..
D is my doctor.
The venue is TTSH.
The appointment is meant for my scheduled surgical procedure for my right shoulder.

The bed I was talking about was really new, bigger, very comfortable and pretty advanced. It was newly acquired by the hospital in January this year. The controls (of adjusting different parts of the bed) are done by simple pressing of buttons that I can also reach while I was lying down. The sides of the bed is not those familiar iron bars, but are those materials common to vehicle’s dashboard. Beige colour somemore, and it reminds me of my Mazda. There are only about 10 in the Day Surgery Centre and I was lying on one. Privileged right?

I must say the nurses and doctors are all very professional. They will try all means to be reassuring and try to calm us down. But one funny one was puzzled and asked me : "How come you appear so calm?" Haha.. Actually, I was already rather calm well before they started their calming and reassuring tactics. So that nurse must have felt a little awkward as to what else to do, I guess. Haha..

There were so many rounds (at least 4) of verbal verification, asking for my name, IC number, why I was there for, which part in particular to be operated on,… etc.. just to make sure I am the right one to be operated on.

Even the operating theatre looks like a normal room, a room with stronger lightings and with many different types of equipment.

The anesthetist came and he said : This will make you very sleepy.
I think I said with my eyes half-closed : Yes, I am already feeling very sleepy.

I lost all signals and awareness.

When I was awaked again, all done liao, without feeling a thing! But the effects of the anesthesia were still there, and I must say they weren’t pleasant at all. From then on, it was just sleep and eat (food and medicine) and change of ice-cold gel packs (placed around the operated area to lessen the effect of swelling) till the next day.

I must also mention the staffs are really friendly and they really make effort to make you feel as comfortable as possible.

For a few times, I made the nurses panic a bit and felt a little lost. No no no. Not that I was being naughty and uncooperative and all. They noticed my blood pressure plunged a little too much whenever I just wake up. My high-reading can be just your low-reading, if you get what I mean. Haha.. But they were puzzled and amazed why I could be still so alert and can engage in logical conversation with them. They only suspected the machine could be spoilt. Haha.. Each time, I took some deep breaths, took a cup of milo, and the blood pressure immediately stabilized to normal. Maybe that’s just my system.

The only thing I don’t quite like is the discharging part. The waiting time is.. erm.. too long. They were clearly under-staff. I must wait for the doctor to come and see that I’m okay. I must wait for the physiotherapist to come and teach me some exercises to strengthen my weaken parts. I must also wait for the next available nurse to give me a discharging briefing. I must still go to the pharmacy to queue again for medicine.

- - - - -

Now I’m feeling much better. Thanks for all the well-wishes from everyone.

Although I’m given 2 weeks of hospital leave, I don’t think I need it. Ha.. I am already going places as per normal. How can I imagine myself staying at home with a full alert mind and still bouncing around, and yet let my fellow colleagues who are already very busy to cover my workload? You see, after uploading this, I’m even thinking of going shopping around. :o)

In 2 weeks’ time, I shall be able to regain much power back. :o)

- - - - - - - - - -

~ ~ 就是觉得它们超可爱 ~ ~

Bare My Teeth..

Many people don’t believe that I actually consulted an orthodontist and get my teeth set till my present “teeth-condition”.

“Your teeth very crooked in the past meh?” …
“I thought your teeth were all along quite straight?”

They were particularly surprised when I said I only got it done not too long ago (a few years back).

“Huh?... Why so old then… ?”
“So old still can meh?”

- - - - - -

Haha…

So… The $4k (appro.) spent… Mm…

I laid my hands on the moulds of my teeth before and after (the 2-year-long process). Let the pictures speak for themselves.

Before 1 : Before 2 : Before 3

(Click on the hyperlinks above for the before-pictures. Warning : rather unpleasant view, viewers' discretion is advised.)

~ ~ ~ After-Picture : NOW ~ ~ ~

Not 100% perfect, but I think I can feel the differences.

- - - - - - - - - -

人，一般上会相当用心的在自己的外表上「整修门面」。

我们是否也会同样的用心在我们自己的内在「整修」一番呢？
也就是说在我们的内涵修养上用功夫 ...

- - - - - - - - - -



小故事 ...

东汉和帝年间，杨震被大将军邓骘举茂才，四次升调荆州刺史和东莱太守。

当他去东莱郡上任，路过昌邑县，过去曾受杨震在荆州刺史任上荐举的王密，做了昌邑县令，便来拜见杨震。

晚上还揣着十斤黄金要送给杨震。

杨震说:“我作为老友，是了解你的；你却实在不了解我，这是干什么呀？”

王密说:“黑夜里，没有人会知道的。”

杨震说:“天能知道，神能知道；我知道，你也知道，怎么说没有人知道呢？”

王密听了，非常惭愧地退了出来。

CNY : Visiting Relatives …

Of course, they are many aspects of CNY. Maybe today, I just write a little bit about visiting relatives during CNY.

Relatives, like branches of a family, are supposed (could be) the ones who can help us unconditionally in times of need. It’s miraculous (maybe difficult to fully comprehend) that just such blood-link can draw such power.

Yet, I heard too many (gladly, not all) people (especially the teens, even the younger adults, okay even many older adults) complaining (verbal or in writing) about how meaningless it is to visit relatives during CNY.

These people who dislike it have their reasons.
- Only see these relatives once a year.
- Don’t feel connected.
- They asked the same questions every year.
- Boring to be around so many people you hardly know well enough.
- Could use the time for other more interesting things.
- Feels bound by senseless traditions.
- and so on..

Mm… Some thoughts came to my mind.

(1) Who are the ones limiting to the number of visits in order to know our relatives better? Probably ourselves. Of course, we have reasons for not visiting. We are all so busy working for bread and butter, and sometimes even neglect the people staying under the same roof as us. Heh… So, if we regard them as relatives that we should know better, maybe we should take initiative to make time for visit, not just during CNY, but anytime.

(2) Maybe many people feel they don’t need the relatives for assistance anyway, and so the drifting apart doesn’t really bother them that much. It’s cold, isn’t it? Mm.. Do human comes together on the “need” basis?

(3) The feeling of non-connectedness… the feeling of boredom around relatives. Oh well, this I can’t say much, especially when the chemistry is already waning. But for sure, if nothing is done, or nothing happens, it can only fade away even more. Haha.. I always think that how interesting any meeting could turn out, we can play an active part. In other words, if the meeting turns out boring, maybe we are the boring ones.

(4) Traditions are around for some reasons. I would agree some are senseless, or rather no longer appropriate in our time. Sometimes, I even like to challenge that our people were surviving just as well before any particular tradition was set. Plus, people without our tradition are also surviving just as well now. Haha.. Of course, tradition goes beyond “surviving well”. Maybe, it’s also a kind of identity we like to keep and call ourselves Chinese, Malay or Indian accordingly. Visiting relatives is well practiced amongst all religions and races of mankind. The interesting thing is : if we don’t bother to even visit during festive seasons, maybe we wouldn’t during any other time also.

(5), (6), (7), ...

- - - - -

Beside visiting relatives, another good thing would be visiting friends. :o)

I'm writing too much already. I know it's boring writing too. Haha..

Nonetheless, hope you all have a great rat year ahead. :o)

Self-Restraint (for me)?

K made an irresistable offer.
I like it (and used to yearn for it in the past).

I said "thank you", but politely declined.

Somehow, I learn what I like may not result in the best outcome for everyone.

I still like it and appreciate K's kind offer deeply, and it was that little self-restraint keeping me at bay, for the good of everyone, I think. Haha...

心中或许有不少的「想要」
我在瓜分为「可不可以要」和「应不应该要」。
就算机会现前...
我希望我还可以理智多一点点。 :o)

- - - - - - - - - -



有一位圣者这么说：

人必须有自尊。
自尊心是成就圣贤不可缺少的要素。

自尊则能自敬，自敬则能自重，自重则能自爱。

自尊必不自卑，自敬必不自贱；
自重必不自暴，自爱必不自弃。

能庄重，能庄严，能肃敬。
不苟且，不散漫，自可威光照人。

Big Chill..

I had been following a few articles on the “big chill” over at China now. Somehow there is a chilling effect up my spine. It feels particularly different, especially when region I’d visited not too ago was mentioned.

- Why so cold? ..
- Why the country? ..
- Why now, nearing the festive? ..
- Why being caught so unprepared? ..
- Why a few more countries are also added to the list of extreme coldness and wetness? ..
- Why on recent years, there are so many natural disasters around the world that are reported as “这是 xx 年来最严重的 … blah blah blah … ” ??

若说事出必有因，那这是什么因？
若说异常大的风霜雪雨是哀的表现，那天地为何而哀？

还真担心这些只不过是前奏 …

- - - - - - -

在大自然的面前，人类是如此脆弱...

回乡的路冷冰冰，滋味铁定不好受...

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有一位圣者这么说：

自己的行为，自己要负责；要求别人，自己先要做到。
先己则能率人，律己则能服人。
量宽则能得人，有德则能聚人。