L Made Me Remember Jn

I don't even remember when I last saw her. It was nice to have met her, L, recently. The conversation continues...

Towards the end, there was a little twist of "plot".

L : You know Jn?

Me : Of course. We still contact each other regularly.

L : You know what. Sometimes we may not know how we may have affected our students. Jn and I are in the same church and I know the pastor's wife pretty well. The pastor's wife told me, Jn aspired to be a math teacher because of you.

Me : Huh?! Erm...

I was dumbfounded. He never said that (to me). Of course, I don’t expect (cannot imagine) him to utter those words. Haha..

I remember scolded him (nagged at him) the most (in his class) . He was never hard working and hardly submitted any tutorials. Those that he had submitted, I was sure he wouldn't need them for revision either. They were of such slobby quality most of the time. He failed most of his tests or at best obtained a borderline pass. However, in his second year, he participated in a mathematics competition and topped those who had participated in the college. Kaoz.. He has the brain! Still my "nagging" continued.

It was so "bad" that once (during his second year, in early term 3, I think), he questioned (not in the nicest of tone) why I bothered about his studies and his future at all. He claimed that it is his future and he will be responsible for it anyway, suggesting that I should leave him alone. But, you know what? I continued (much to his annoyance, I supposed) as he hadn’t shown any sign of improvement and didn’t seem to have any sense of direction. But of course, I changed to a much softer-approach when dealing with him then. Haha..

I don’t know when he started changing actually. I remember feeling a little strange (but glad) for him to approach me (voluntarily) for consultations after his Preliminary Examination. I really didn’t do much as his questions were all so specific. Nevertheless, we poured in some quality time to set things right. It turned out right!

When he got into NUS and told me he had decided to major in Math and had planned to teach, I was… erm… only too delighted. I was delighted not because he said “math” or “teach”. I would be just as delighted if he had said other subjects, other professions. I was delighted plainly because this fine young man all of a sudden had such a sharp sense of direction in life and knew what he wanted!

I am still very proud of him. Still, I don’t think I had done anything extra-ordinary. You would have done the same, wouldn’t you?

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懒人的愿望

你一定要走吗？
可不可休息一下。
像我一样，偶尔睡个懒觉，
偶尔发呆，偶尔出错，
偶尔闹情绪，偶尔耍赖.......
你一定要如此坚定、严格的向前走吗？
弄得大家都精疲力竭的老了！

He is Bored or I am Just Dull.

He was talking about *little pal, E.
He continued, "This E, always looks sleeping in class. The work or assignments he handed in are all done in a rather slobby manner. I don't think he puts in effort. He looks so not-interested, so half-hearted. I think he has no interest to continue study."

"What do you think?" (Alemah, He knows I know that student.)

Oh my, oh my...
I must also comment??!! Erm...

The easiest way out is of course, "Ya lor, I agree with you."

But I decided to choose a different approach altogether, in an attempt to "mess up" his thinking a little.

I said ...
你的观察好入微哦。
我就没有想得如此深入了。
我认识他才没有多久，还没有机会与他好好儿的谈谈，
所以不敢下此定论。
他上课的时候的确看起来有一些无精打采。
可是我不敢说他对学习没有兴趣。
我只是认为...
- How come I am not able to captivate his attention?
- Maybe I am just too dull?
- What is lacking on my side such that I cannot draw his attention?
- Maybe my approach is just not that suitable for him?
- How am I going to make my lessons for interesting to him?
- Maybe the really boring one is me?

I know I am just a little “playful” here. Haha..

But, my idea is simply…
事情既然发生了，
问题不一定是在别人。
自己可能是问题的主因。
我们可否有这样的勇气来面对？

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有一位作者这么说：

领导力不只是职场上重要的能力，其实，在家里也一样需要，父母就是一家的领导人。

一九九二年美国总统大选，老布希输给了柯林顿。布希的孙子当时就读小学三年级。选情揭晓的隔天，学校里，孩子在排队领营养午餐的时候，老师听到一个小孩嘲笑他：「输掉了，你爷爷输掉了！」

老师看了很心疼，正要阻挡，只见布希的孙子面带微笑，没有被激怒，也没有低头，从容不迫地说：「我相信柯林顿也会是一个好总统。」

老师听了好感动，浮上脑海的第一个念头就是：这个孩子的爸妈教得真好。有一句俗话说：「父母怎么做，孩子就怎么学。」这个故事可以凸显出，父母作为领导人，言行举止有多大的影响力。

再见。生气。

「再见」 ： 再见一面 (meeting again, not good-bye)

It is quite a good feeling to see so many ex-*little pals back at the same time.
再见许多一直想见的。
再见许多好久不见的。

Some years apart and I just feel that they have all somewhat grown to be a better person. They talked about their experiences, their expectations, or just dropped by to say they are doing fine. Nice. Hope they continue to do well.
不管刚才谈了多少，总还是觉得谈得不够。
不管曾经做了多少，也好像觉得做得不够。

There was one slightly different/unique conversational experience.
I met one ex-student. I never really taught her before but we had a few months of opportunity to work with each other within the same CCA.

Me : 嗨！好久不见。你好！你现在从事什么行业啊？

She : 我在社会大学上课啦。

She added (she was looking blissful and at the same time, using her hand gesture to direct me to some people who came together with her) : 老师这是我的孩子。这位是我的先生。

She made me feel so old all of a sudden. Haha..

大伙儿当珍重。

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「生气」 ：生机勃勃的气氛 (lively atmosphere, not angry)

What do we have when we put hundreds of young teenagers together?
Vibrancy & liveliness of course!
7 hours together some more!
I am really feeling young, all over again. :o)

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有一位作者这么说：

我生气啦！ ~ ~ ~
我真的气炸了！
在没有人的地方生气，只会觉得空虚。

Learning to Outreach

Many of us were deployed out to Secondary School today as part of the “outreach programme” in our effort to promote our college.

Two *little pals were planned to go along with me. As we were new to each other, we introduced ourselves briefly and set off shortly after that.

Miscalculation! If we were to go straight to the school, we will be far too early. Mm.. I decided to detour. I took them sight-seeing around some ulu corners of Yishun town first instead. Haha.. That simple sight-seeing journey turned out more memorable to them. I’m just glad that they like it.

途中的小插曲：

X : Mr Nanzi, what classes are you teaching?

Nanzi : Oh, it’s CTG Pa, Pb, Pc and Pd. You have friends in year 1? Ha.. If you didn’t hear any complaints about me from them, then I’m safe.

X : No lah, they never complain. Actually many of my friends say you are ______ leh. My seniors also said so. Why you don’t teach our batch?

Z : Yeah lor. My seniors also say leh. They say ______ .

Nanzi (dotz… my face already turning into a red tomato… speech becoming a little incoherent) : Oh.. erm.. It's just that your friends and seniors are really willing learners. We will always try our best to help you all one lah.

I quickly talked about other things to distract them. :P

The without-consent-form-unofficial-mini-excursion ended just too soon, at least that was how we felt. And then we got to proceed to work. Ha… At least we had a pretty good starting.

The school was amazingly welcoming to us. Things were organized pretty promptly and the management staff (Principal and HODs), even though very busy, came personally to talk to us to see that we were comfortably attended to. Good people.

But but but..
My assigned task was to “sell” the college to the students. This is so tough for me. A good thing would be that the two *little pals coming along with me were former students there and they were pretty enthu into everything. Phew..

When “socializing” is concerned, I think I had somewhat succeeded to a small extent.
- I know the two new *little pals that came along with me, better.
- Some students from the secondary school, who are attending the college I’m in now as a PAE student, obviously know me. They came forward to identify themselves (as I may not have taught them before) and we chatted.
- The contacts with principal and the different HODs were quite pleasant too.

By if asked how I had fared for my orginal assigned task, I think I had failed big time.

- - - -

日间在砖瓦下，穿梭其中、有说有笑、互相切磋。
夜来在星空下，伴着街景、吹着凉风、相聚畅谈。
作日就那样轻轻松松一天过。

今日也如此潇洒自在来走过。

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班上来了一位转校生。

自我介绍时说：
我未必会是最聪明的，
我未必会是最棒的，
我未必会是最好的...!!

同学赞她谦虚时，
她说：大家好，我叫魏碧慧！

Emperor or Empress?

I have forgotten what was the topic they were discussing earlier on, but it lead to the following conversation.

J : Which is better? To be the Emperor or to be the Empress?

(We have to wildly imagining as if we have a choice, of course.)

A : Empress lah!

(A then proceeded to explain himself.)

A : Empress shares the same wealth, luxury and even power (more or less) as the Emperor, yet she doesn’t have to bother about how to ran a country. Her only concerns are making herself looks good, eats well, sleeps well and enjoys her life.

(M was beside, and she was not pleased obviously.)

M : No! No! Emperor is better. Empress needs to 对付后宫. Very stressed!

Haha.. M must have been following 《金枝欲孽》 so closely and getting herself too absorbed.

True, all the super beautiful ladies (in power within the palace) in 《金枝欲孽》 are so scheming, so scary, pitting their wits against each other and eventually “killing” each other.

In any case, some random thoughts rushed through my mind while I listened to such conversation and recalled bits-and-pieces of what I’d seen in 《金枝欲孽》.

- Many people spend their life pursing after wealth and power. Those ladies got both wealth and power (yet they hungered for more). Were they, in any sense, happy? Mm..

- Some people eventually got wealth and/or power in life (with differing degree of difficulty), not to mention the minority fortunate few who are born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Many more tried so hard and yet only managed to get by comfortably, and not exactly wealthy or powerful.

- Yet I ask what is exactly “wealth” and “power”?

- If a person were to feel that he is always having enough, contented and being grateful of whatever he already had, yet he continues to work hard and certainly willing to share his “surpluses”, would you call him a poor fellow? Haha.. I feel wealthy. Maybe you may say I’m just too Ah Q.

- If a man in power is ripped off his position and yet he is just as respected, that is “power” to me.
很显然的，他懂得以德服众。

- If a man only makes use of his power to control others and yet he is unable to control himself (as in he can’t even kick his bad habits and keeps harbouring ill-thoughts), appears somewhat “powerless” to me.
毕竟战胜别人是为英雄，但圣人却是懂得战胜自己的能者。

Perhaps, you can be really wealthy without being wealthy ; you can also be really powerful without being powerful.

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心动不必行动

Sure sure sure…
I know you are much more accustomed to the phrase : 心动不如行动. But this cannot apply to me…

Just a moment ago I was “drooling over” this :

It’s a Camry. Somehow this recent face-lift model appeals to me even more. But just tell me, how to 行动? Mm..

Just kidding, I am never that “possessive” anyway. Haha.. I shall just maintain my look-look-see-see stand, appreciating it from afar, getting nearer to it if I perceive that its driver is not anywhere near in sight. :P

There are just too many good things around.
Hey not just things!
其实有好多的人、事、物、境都会让我们心动、随之而感动。
然而，这些人、事、物、境岂有可能与我们常伴呢？
或许『占有欲』不要太强也是不错的。哈哈。。
重点是在『珍惜』啦。
我也不要长篇大论了。
大伙儿就大胆的去『心动』、好好儿的来感动。
『行不行动』就各自看着办吧。:)

Side-track : This link (here) is about a Toyota Ad. Finds it pretty creative and funny, but "uncomfortable" at the same time. Haha..

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有一位圣者这么说：

事不自转，因人转。
人不自转，因所谓而转。
所谓不自转，因念转。
念不自转，因心转。
心不易转，先软化。
何为软化？不固执己见。
因为固执由己见生。
己见由习性蕴。
软化则有空接受圣言他言、可以增加智慧。
有智慧则自着、自缚、自困由紧转松。

CHANGE..

A conversation over MSN went like this ..

-Za|- : hmm u changed new skin?
Me : Nope.. My skin is still yellow what. Born yellow, always yellow!!
(Of course I know he is referring to my new blog skin, instead.
Okay, now you know I can be that lame.)
:
:
:

-Za|- : Normally people change cos their emotion imbalance :P
Me : Really? That only shows I'm different, I'm special.. hehe
:
:
:

- - - - -

Oh, I didn’t know the “culture of change of blog skin” in the blogosphere that well. Haha.. I just thought a change may not be a bad idea. Besides, I kept getting “alert” from blogger requesting me to “upgrade” (don’t know to what). Oh well, I eventually did (not knowing quite well what I had actually done, but just click-click-click, agreeing with this and that). Heh.. So I might as well select a different skin altogether.

But come to think about it, it may be quite interesting to understand why people implement change(s) and/or hope to see some changes.

Why we change?
Do we change for the sake of changing?
Do we always need to have something re-freshing to keep us going and hence the need for a regular change?
Do we change because we are unsatisfied / bored with the present?
Is changing necessarily for the better?
How adaptive to changes are we?
When the world is changing, can we not change?... the list just goes on..

On the other end of the spectrum, there are certainly things we hope they will not change. Yet, the fact remains… Nothing is permanent. Such is the impermance nature of life. Mm..

天变、地变、事变...
就算他人的心也可以改变...
我们的心能否保持不变?...

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变身

春雨蒙蒙的午夜，
他化妆成一支狗，
他家哈利假扮成一个人，
一起到公园散步。
很多事情是无法改变的。
不管是人或是狗。
是化妆成人的狗，
或是妆扮成狗的人。
对于某种无法改变的习性，
他感到一种宿命的无奈。

WILL to be better..

Many people say the quality of our performance comes from our experience. It other words, we should improve over time by doing the same thing over and over again. Or more simply : practice makes perfect.

Someone was commenting something along this line just a moment ago and some thoughts rushed through my mind.

Why is it that we still often see people doing the same thing over 10 to 20 years (or even more) and yet their effectiveness/efficiency is still questionable?

We also see that it is not always true that a person with some children of his own would know better how to deal with young kids.

I just heard from C about a well-known and experienced and professional counselor, who projected an image of arrogance, being accusative and judgmental. That so-called counselor only made C’s friend (K) angrier, more stressed and cried more. And when C tried to help K to explain the situation, the counselor said to C sternly (and in front of K), “You keep quiet. I am trained in this area. I know better or you know better? I don’t want to hear from you. I only want to hear from her!” But during the session, that so-called counselor had clearly misinterpreted many accounts. Yes, K has some language-proficiency issue and wasn’t able to express herself clearly. But for that so-called counselor to say to K, “You yourself must have done something very wrong…. ” simply based on the bits-and-pieces, poorly expressed phrases by K is just.. erm ..

In short, many years as a father / mother / teacher / student / engineer / lawyer / doctor / dentist / nurse / counselor / manager / cook / artist / salesperson / whatever will NOT necessarily make you a better father / mother / teacher / student / engineer / lawyer / doctor / dentist / nurse / counselor / manager / cook / artist / salesperson / whatever.

On the other hand, we certainly also see many young people with just 2 to 3 years of experience, performing impressively. No doubt, some are really going all out to impress. That is not my concern here. Nevertheless, I am just amazed about their performance output.

I came to a little conclusion that it usually isn’t the practice over the years that can make us better. There must first be a will to be better to begin with and there must be a heart to serve. When things don’t go too right, we don’t blame the situation out-there, but look inside us, reflect upon, and still humble enough to seek assistance, solely based on our will to be better and our heart to serve. Yes, if there is a strong will to be better and a heart to serve, we might then truly become stronger and stronger over the years.

手把青秧插满田
低头便见水中天
退步原来是向前

Look So Married & Fatherly

Since 3 to 4 years ago…

Whenever someone (whom I have yet to know too well) approaches me and asks me to buy something, they go “Sir, would you like to get these for your wife/children?”
Just a few hours ago, a *little pal (promoting flowers) asked me this question again.

Whenever someone (whom I have yet to know too well) asks me out for a simple gathering, they go “Hey Nanzi, you may bring your wife and children along.”
This happened again, just a few months ago.

Guess that I must have that kind of blissful look, well taken care of and well supported by a capable wife, and surrounded by countless of wonderful kids. Heh.. I certainly look so married and fatherly. Right!

Haha.. Nevertheless, I find it quite funny.

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假面的告白

星期六的早上，我突然觉得疲累，
坐在公园的石椅上，
决定定摘下带了许久的头盔。
很多事情是没有原因的，
我顺畅的呼吸，却感到焦虑。
慎重的思考，
应该脱下兽皮，
或是重新带上威武的头盔。

Taken For Granted?

"How can she take me for granted?", he questioned rhetorically. He went on asking more difficult questions. The facial expression he wore certainly suggested a not-so-delightful situation. Mm..

Putting his story aside, I asked myself, " Have I ever been taken for granted?"

I don't think so. Or at least I hardly feel that way.

I kind of like the saying :
When we give fully without wanting anything in return, we receive as much as we give.

Of course, if our giving is reciprocated, it is going to be a bonus, a priceless bonus. If our giving is not reciprocated, I do admit the feeling can be a little not-so-nice (initially), for I usually think I must have not practised the giving in an appropriate way. I would then think about it and thereafter work towards betterment.

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巨人的苹果

刚开始只是开出一朵较大的红花，
接著飞来一只怪怪的蜜蜂，
然後只是结了一颗不太一样的果子，
谁也不晓得会变成这样。
世界上所有的恐怖，
不都是这样慢慢发生的吗？