I Should Have Praised Him More

He was delighted that he could solved a rather tricky question. The first thing we met in the morning, he was eager to show his solution to me. I took a glance at it. Mm… It was rather neatly presented. But I was in a rather critical mood (too critical), I commented that “it was not much difference from.. blah blah blah..”

He went, “Okay lor.. so sad.”
What alerted me was that much “deflated” tone. Mm.. I quickly added, “It is good, anyway.”

Later in the evening, when things are more settled. That morning scene somehow replayed in my mind. I can see his “deflated” expression quite vividly. I don’t feel good.

I toyed with my handphone for a while and I messaged - Hey. I must add again that I’m pretty impressed with your effort in attempting that DE question :)

He replied almost instanteously – Haha.. Thank u! Wa.. Now I’m v happy until tonite cant slp.. Haha!

I know he was a little exaggerating. But when this young man is happy, he simply can’t hide it, and I felt it. Come to think about it, I needn’t be that critical all the time. I should have praised him more. His achievement at that point of time may not be great, but it could well be a building stone for something grand-to-be.

Hope he can 越战越勇 and continue to scale to greater heights. I shall be looking forward to such great moments! :-)

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有一位作者这么说：

生命是一種過程。

事情的结果尽管重要，但是做事情的过程更加重要，因为结果好了我们会更加快乐，但过程使我们的生命充实。人的生命最后的结果一定是死亡，我们不能因此说我们的生命没有意义。世界上很少有永恒。

恋爱中的人们每天都在信誓旦旦地说我会爱你一辈子，这实际上是不真实的。

最真实的说法是：「我今天，此时此刻正在真心地爱着你。」
明天也许你会失恋，失恋后我们会体验到失恋的痛苦。这种体验也是丰富你生命的一个过程。

Typical Man Talking to Typical Lady

An extract of a conversation between a “typical man” and a “typical lady” :

TL : y u always have this impression that i'm free??? It’s actually the reverse.

TM : erm.. rather, I am reminding u to look forward to be "free". "Free" as in 解放。哈哈。你就是没有这种领悟。

TL : i'm sad... no brain to think of those 解放.

TM : ok.. 不好意思。

TL : u hor .. arr.. ask me y I sad can??

TM : huh? must ask want ah? later ask you.. then you say cannot say, don't want to say.. then I very malu leh..

TL : i'm going to categorise u le.. into ,those "typical man" group

TM : I tried asking before lah .. then the lady gave that kind of "don't want to tell you", "why must tell you" kind of look. From then onwards.............. I don't ask liao. So u cannot blame the typical guys. Because the "typical guys" are trained or "scared" by typical ladies. :p

TL : typical lady are those that need u to prompt further... what if the lady just tell you that y she is sad.. and in your heart.. you are thinking "y should I care" then the lady more malu isn't it.. haiz

TM : orh.. but don't know how to prompt further leh.. cham.. I feel so stupid..

TL : haha.. u make me feel not that sad anymore.. so u no need to feel stupid le

TM : See I have my ways.. even withOUT asking.. .without prompting further! Powerful right?.. :P

TL : i'm speechless le.. erm.. okie i'm sad..

TL : *time to prone****** get it?? ******

TM : hope u are erm.. feeling better.

TL : nope.. still sad..

TM : erm.. must be your tortise right?

TL : that fellow only will make me laugh..

TM : at least you have "someone" to talk to.. I'm relief.. :P

TL : dotz..

TM : then must be too much work load lor.. haiz.. must be so stressful.

TL : No.. tell u lar..

TM : OK

TL : u guess further then i discover that i got much more sadness.

Haha..
Guys are mostly perceived as rather non-too-sensitive (but, I bet you know plenty that are over-sensitive). Okay, I’m not trying to generalize.

Putting it in a more diplomatic manner, there are certainly differences between the sexes. But when well-managed, the differences actually complement each other pretty well. Let's celebrate differences. Too much similarities may, in a way, suggest staleness? Ha.. some people call that uniformity. :P

Whatever the "argument" is. I think the basis of getting together in harmony is still mutual respect. The little picture below says it all (I think). :-)

We can't deny their vast differences. Yet what are the factors that draw them together in harmony?
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优秀是一种习惯。这句话是古希希腊哲学家亚里斯多德说的。

如果说优秀是一种习惯，那么懒惰也是一种习惯。
人出生的时候，除了脾气会因为天性而有所不同，其他的东西基本上都是后天形成的，是家庭影响和教育的结果。所以，我们的一言一行都是日积月累养成的习惯。

有的人形成了很好的习惯，有的人形成了很坏的习惯。
所以我们从现在起就要把优秀变成一种习惯，使我们的优秀行为习以为常，变成我们的第二天性。

让我们习惯性地去创造性思考，习惯性地去认真做事情，
习惯性地对別人友好，习惯性地欣赏大自然。

Short-Lived Cheers ++

I was disturbed by loud cheers outside my room. My parents were attempting to copy down the most recent set 4D winning numbers from the TV screen. They noticed a familiar number. It was their winning number. Second price leh. Their reaction was natural, I guess. But.. erm.. The cheers were a little short-lived.

Less than 3 minutes later, my father realised he had copied the wrong set of winning numbers. The numbers he had copied were from a week ago. It was actually followed by more laughter. It was the laughter that picked me up a little and set me thinking for a while.

I was just thinking :
Have we learnt to laugh away our errors?
Or we simply choose to lament over them for ages?
Have we learnt not to commit the same error again?
Or we simply take it as our personality and live with it?

Just another note. How many people are actually so into such "buying dreams" activities (TOTO, 4D, SWEEP, SCORE & STRIKE, etc.)?
每逢周末，本岛都会看到好长的“买梦”人龙。
对错咱不必去议论
有人说是小赌娱情
哈哈。。
这『买梦』人龙里
你看不到我的足迹
非我没有志愿可达
只是建立方式不同

人生是否多姿多彩，就看我们如何上色。
往往工具齐全，只待提笔。

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有一位圣者这么说：
利之一字，乃学问、人品的一片试金石。
所谓生存，不是苟活；温饱，不是奢侈；发展，更不是放纵。
不该我得、非属我有，我有何理由贪一分一毫？
不是我做、非我所成，我有何权利享一分一毫？

"Of Course"

A asked : Sir, one of these days can we go out to la kopi?
I replied : Sure. Why not? Of course.
I take that as a friendly invitation.
It's quite an humbling experience when such invitation is put forward much like a request. Actually, we already talked quite a lot in the college. But a different setting will be a good idea.

- - - -

I messaged Z : You are clever. You are right to say.. blah blah blah..
Z returned message : LOL.. Off course.
Is he trying to tell me that my course of action to praise him is inappropriate?
Nay, we know he meant "of course".
Nevertheless, I replied : Oh, of course the fact that I said you are clever is a little off course. :)
It took Z quite a while to understand me. He looked at the message, returned to search for my first message and his own first reply. *tada* Haha..

Once Prepared for Him

曾经... 大约一年前吧...
这玩意儿是为他而准备的。
他... 应该是不需要了。
我也... 应该无需把这东西搁放在前座位的储藏格了。

时间过的也真是快啊。
他还好吧？
我竟然连直接问候他的勇气也没有。被粉碎了，我想。

几天前，有人问：Hey, I remember the other day I saw two yellow triangle plates in your car. You actually need them?
我回话：No lah, I have been driving for so long. Need them for what?
他继续问：Aiyo.. don’t waste leh. Can give them to me? *Hehe..
我回话：Mm.. okay, why not? I’ll pass them to you tomorrow?

I conveniently procrastinated. Now I have decided. I intend to keep this one-year-old set and buy a new set for this person who happened to ask, and I had already say "yes".

这玩意儿是为他而准备的，我就留着当作是片段的回忆吧。

深呼... 长叹 ...
还是那么挂念。
唯有暗中祝福。
望他一切安好。

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有一位圣者这么说：
慈悲是我服务众生的坚持，喜舍是我牺牲奉献的存心；
忍耐是我历练顺逆的把持，感恩是我期许实践的恩赐。
若缺乏慈悲喜舍、忍耐感恩，再多的富足都是污染灵根的本源。

Morning Surprises..

I walked into my office especially early in the morning. I was expecting a little surprise. But I was in for many pleasant surprises.

I saw this :

~ ~ Bookmark ~ ~
The actual item looks better than what we see in the pictures above. Haha.. so sorry, I have yet to sharpen my photo-taking skill.

And I saw this :

~ ~ Kevin Kern CD ~ ~

I was told he is so popular. Erm.. But today is my first introduction to this person and to his music. Cool!

And I saw a note telling me these items are now mine. Wow!
The bookmark is somewhat "personalised" and the musical pieces are indeed pleasant to the ears. Very thoughtful ideas, I would say.

Thank You Thank You :o)

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有一位圣者这么说：
过去如何不必论太多，从现在开始：『振作你的生命，发现你的生命，开拓你自己的生命。』
这就是你活着的意义，才不枉费你在这个时候、这个年代所走过的辛酸、所付出的血泪。

Meeting A Mother - I’d Learnt

Today, there was an arranged meeting with D’s mother.
I am not D’s CT and so most of the time I was only patiently listening to the conversations between different parties. But I feel a little urge now to blog about a portion of an interesting conversation. And in this particular conversation, I’d learnt.

Parent : How’s my daughter doing?
Teacher A : She’s attentive and basically she's quite a good girl.
Parent : Aiyah.. You don’t have to say until so nice. Just tell me straight what are her problems.
This parent was here and was certainly very determined to find the root of her daughter’s "problems". So, she first perceived the situation as “problems”.

There was one part of the conversation, which I find particular interesting…
Teacher A : You should also try to find the good qualities in her and praise her.
D’s Eldest Sister (DES) : But the many wrong/bad things she has done overshadowed the little right/good things she has done.
Parent : Correct hor.. (turning to DES).. Hey you as a third-party, do you remember me praising your younger sister ah? Oh gosh, I think I only “shoot” her leh.
(Now turning to Teacher A and she continued)..
People at her age, still need to be praised meh? I think I only praise her younger brother. I don’t remember praising her for anything.
Teacher A (smiling and in a gentle fashion ) : Mrs L. , even at our age, when we are praised, we also feel good, right?
Parent : Ya hor.. I think I will take your suggestion and remember to praise her. Aiyah, my husband also never praise me one.
The conversation continues..

I was pretty impressed by how positive/receptive this parent is.
I was particularly impressed by her ability to reflect on herself (instantaneously). When in doubt, she even turned and asked DES (her eldest daughter) to verify. In my heart, I actually smile. To me, this is such a beautiful quality.

Throughout the course of the day, I met many other parents. Some discussed issues too sensitive to be mentioned here. At the end of the day, the lesson I gathered would be the importance of communication. Things are always different when we adopt the other person's perspective.

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有一位圣者这么说：

你们要做一个『善导人』。
何谓善导人：『不妄语、不诳语、不虚言、不乱言』。
你给人的是一分心力的付出，你的话当中有精神，你的身上就有道。
若你心中有九分，表现出来的恰好有十分，就是虚伪。因为多了一分造作。

Pleasantly Surprised from a Visit by Sy ..

I'm pleasantly surprised from a visit by Sy in the afternoon. Sy graduated from JC in 2001. Oh, but I only tutored her in 2000. Haha.. The one-year-bond is strong enough. :P

I remember her as an average student back then. After graduated from JC, she went over to Melbourne and study Accountancy there. Now she has graduated, but she has decided to work in Australia, not Singapore. Ha.. Australia must have some strong drawing factors for her to decide to work there, while leaving her boyfriend (Je, also one of my ex-*little pals for 2 years) behind “slogging” in Singapore @ NUS now.

I shall talk a little bit about her being an average student BACK THEN and the “strong drawing factors” in Australia.

She was average. Mind you, I can only use the past tense here. She is now beaming with pride and confidence. She related how she enjoyed her studies there. I also have peers relating to me how they enjoyed their university education overseas. But when I talk to *little pals currently studying in our local universities, they hardly say they enjoy it. Okay, some may relate how much they enjoy the fun and all with their peers, but they never forget to reiterate how stressful the learning environment is most of the time.

Many *little pals I know studying overseas told me how they enjoy attending lessons and they really look forward to them. Too many (not all hor) *little pals I know studying in local universities shared with me how they skipped lectures and/or even tutorials. Heh.. Are we suspecting they are learning less there and we are learning more here? But hey, they really know their stuffs! They are pretty focused, let me put it more correctly.

Okay, she admits, there wasn’t much homework. And during weekends.. ha.. she really enjoyed herself. She studied, of course. It was a course she likes. But she was certainly having a life at the same time. She said she can remain pretty focused as she has a good and healthy company. I still think it boils down to discipline.

Now that she has graduated, many may assume she will return and work here. Nope. In Australia, no one works after office hours! The 5 day work week culture has been there for so long. She once worked as a helper in an eatery stall in a business district. She related how these white collar professionals will come to the shop she worked in for breakfast, for (many) breaks, for lunch, for tea, for more breaks, etc.. After 5 or 5:30pm, people will be out of their offices, for dinner, for a drink, etc. In her own words, “the people over there don’t see the need to compete.”

She can’t imagine working in Singapore, although the idea of working in Singapore is very much the idea of both her parents, and the wish of her boyfriend. Mm.. Besides the life-style she wants, she noted that the starting pay in Australia is higher than that locally. Heh..

I am not saying I’m really for the mind-set of the Australians (the way she described it). However, I think it’s so important to have more personal time to explore not just the world but also within ourselves.

I have to admit Singapore is different and in many ways we may not be compared on the same ground. Her experiences only make me think what’s missing in Singapore’s education system? Almost every student is feeling stressful. I don’t often hear students saying that they look forward to lessons. During the first week of lesson, they may be already thinking of when is the next break coming. (Okay, I am exaggerating.)

Of course, to have a fairer view, not all students there emerged successful. Yes the learning atmosphere is rather relaxed and students are learning rather independently. There are also many instances of students basically “rotting” there, wasting their time and their parents’ money.

One comment she made also struck me hard. Not entirely a new idea though. She said her learning experience in Singapore from Primary to JC had build a rather solid foundation for her to survive so well in Australia. Mm..

I am also thinking :
If I were to study overseas for my university education, will I be different now?
The current system may be such, but as a teacher, I have a such a close contact with the students. Can’t I make a difference? Haha.. Maybe I am the "root" of the problem. I mean the system may be fine, but I "translated" wrongly to the *little pals.
Maybe .. maybe.. perhaps.. perhaps..

~ ~ Growing ~ ~
What really delights me is not to know how wonderful another country is.
What's really exultant may be to learn how these young individuals have grown to be so confident, so sensible, leading a life so full of purpose.

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有一位圣者这么说：
人的肉体是有限的，但人的意志力是无限量的、精神是无穷尽的。
『志』 --
对的，不敢不做；
错的，我不敢犯错、我不敢耽误、我不敢辜负。

DAEJANGKEUM : Jewel in the Palace (Sound Tracks)

With many thanks to SF & SH, I’m just glad that I could get hold of all the Daejangkeum (大长今) sound tracks. I think they are simply beautiful. I think I find them particularly appealing because I had watched the drama.

The way it was described in the CD package (and I concurred with it) :
在『大长今』的原声带中，作曲家李时佑，林世贤将梦想化为动人的乐章，若没有他们的参与，我无法想象优美的钢琴旋律如何能与古装剧这么贴近地结合，电视局和电视配乐相辅相成。听着原声带中的优美旋律，观众肯定回忆起剧中一幕幕精致唯美的画面和扣人心弦的剧情。

Just see how “simplicity”, “warmth” and “hope” are fused together in the 台湾版 lyrics (I so believe it is somewhat translated from the Korean version) :

雾来啦 . 雾来啦 . 娃娃哭啦
想爸爸 . 想妈妈 . 想要回家
雾来啦 . 雾来啦 . 天色暗啦
星发光 . 心发慌 . 没有方向

嘿呀 . 嘿呀 . 谁能给我力量
路漫长 . 爱漫长 . 带我回家

不要怕 . 不要怕 . 我的娃娃
一朵花 . 一粒砂 . 就是天涯
不要怕 . 不要怕 . 赶快长大
等太阳 . 的光芒 . 带来希望

雾来啦 . 雾来啦 . 娃娃笑啦
听爸爸 . 听妈妈 . 唱歌说话
雾散啦 . 雾散啦 . 天色亮啦
看阳光 . 的方向 . 就有希望

嘿呀 . 嘿呀 . 谁能给我力量
路漫长 . 爱漫长 . 带我回家
嘿呀 . 嘿呀 . 谁能给我力量
路漫长 . 爱漫长 . 我们回家

In moments of despair, a rather sad song was often softly played in the drama (sung in opera-style). The lyrics itself is so heart-wrenching :

Icy shades of blue
I’ve been true to you
Shaped my world on “soon”
Prayed to ghostly moons

Deep and dark it preys
Bleak and stark, in greys
Love’s a shark at bay
Till your heart’s betrayed

Oh, the curse of men and war
My hero’s cry is empty, forlorn
(But) in the silence I concede
My heart can’t flee
This hopeless dream must be or vanish
Foolish love

Once you promised distant shore
And o’er the waves you’d life me once more
Now my pain brings no reward
Your fate’s bound and sworn

From a far I wish you near
And with each breath, I tremble with fear
For in spite of how I bleed
My heart can’t flee
This hopeless dream must be or vanish
Foolish love

My heart can’t flee
This foolish love

Okay, lyrics aside, I think it is the musical-notes added by the composers that makes the pieces magical.

How music has played a part in our life?
Music has always been part of human culture since . . . erm . . . the earliest time you can ever imagine. It is always there as a means of expression of mood, etc.

Ha.. I really have a sudden urge to learn music, even knowing I have approaching-zero talent in the subject.

当然，『靡靡之音』还是要远离。哈哈。。

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有一位圣者这么说：
责任不是包袱，缺点不是障碍，错误更不是枷锁，不要让这些束缚了你自己的心灵。

S Has Many Supportive Friends

It was a gathering and a celebration for two causes. The atmosphere was joyous. I was contented to be invited along. I enjoyed myself. Thanks! :)

But, if we were to look to the middle front of the venue, unmistakably, S was there and he was feeling really down. Many of his peers were trying to console him. They were trying to balance the joyous mood with his seemingly “isolated” sadness. Not many knew exactly what had happened. But this is not the issue here. I was observing how the class reacted.

Some were observing from afar. I’m not saying they don’t care. They don’t know what to do. They were a little concerned that they might say or do the “wrong” thing. They carried on with their “merry-making” but are pretty aware of the incident.

WJ was more sensitive. She was quick to pick up the sad-signal emitted from S. She simply rushed to him offering him a pack of tissue paper. A simple gesture indeed, but one filled with genuine care. When her offering received no reaction, she was not deterred. She took out one tissue paper from the tissue pack and thrust a piece of tissue paper into the right hand of S. S finally grabbed lightly to receive the little tissue paper.

J sat down beside him almost throughout, not saying a lot, by with occasional words of comfort. He was there and made his presence felt. He was there to pour him a cup of cola.

ZR was with him (almost throughout) also. He was the most vocal. He was making the most “visual effort” to be encouraging. He said to him things like..
- 来啦，吃一点吧。
- 你看，看起来就知道很好吃。
- 要不要我喂你?
- 我们一人一半，感情不散。
and many more.
Frankly, if we were to listen to ZR’s encouraging words out of context, they can be rather funny, I think. Haha.. It was very much like kids’ talking. But he was doing it so sincerely that it actually appeared rather touching. He was going all out, only hoping that his friend could feel better. I think he only feels good when his friends around are feeling good. That’s ZR. :)

A little consoling thing would be towards the end of the day, S returned a simple message : “ =) ”
With so many of his friends around him, supporting him, I so believe he can get over it very soon.

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

I don’t think anyone would leave a friend alone when you know he is apparently feeling down. It is the little responsibility of a friend to provide an emotional uplift or whatever, I think. Friends ought to be there for each other.

Erm.. A hypothetical situation : What if we were trying so hard to cheer him up, and later only to learn that the reason that he wasn’t feeling too good was directly or indirectly because of us? Mm.. At least to me, he is still a friend. What can I do then? . . . perhaps . . . only if I'm given an apportunity to . . .

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有一位圣者这么说：

跟你们分享一个方法，当你们在做任何一件事的时候，不论这件事情你做过了没，你都要告诉自己，我今天做这件事，我一定要找到一个心得，可是我不贪求，我只要找到一个心得就够。

事后我还要把这个心得分享给我的好友知道。再有下一次，你做同样一件事，也告诉自己，我这次一定要得到一个心得，但是不能与上次一样。

借由这样的发现自己，让自己在事务上有源源不绝的动力与收获，你们就不会觉得，法喜若有若无，修行若存若亡。

"I Show You My Passion for Math"

I was in the staff room and one *little pal called. Over the phone he said passionately, "Sir, can you please come out now. I want to show you my passion of math."

I confess I didn't hear him too clearly. Or rather I don't believe what I'd heard. This is clearly because the strings of words was never uttered together, in that order, under normal circumstances.

"... I-want-to-show-you-my-passion-of-math ... " ??!!
What is that supposed to mean? Heh..

I went out to meet him anyway.

This young chap showed me an equation which he had come up with. He knows a convincing way to write the solution. He was just elated when he asked over 30 fellow math students of established calibre but none managed to solve it. Haha.. so he was standing in front of me, wanting to "show off" to me. Nay. He was really happy and was only trying to share his joy.

Come to think about it, I only tutored him for 2 weeks. Ha.. so I should be a little "proud" to be selected by him to share his joy.

By the way, the equation he proposed was

.

Can you solve it? Haha.. In order to push him further, I changed some coefficients and pushed the "problems" back to him. And coincidentally, we will be dealing with "such" equations in the next chapter. Mm.. So he did a little self-discovery first.

Just hope his "passion" continue to burn.

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有一位圣者这么说：
老化是动物的特质，而成长才是人类的可贵处。
为人如果不成长，亦不过像动物渐渐老化而已。

A Brief Meet Up with YR

During a brief meet up with YR, I'd learnt...

(a) The business world is a harsh one. Your survival may also suggest that your business rivals will be dying/dead. He related how the employees of one of his business rivals went without salaries for some months. It pained him. But he is also working for his own survival and the salaries for many of his employees.

(b) Through hard times, we may see the "true" hearts. Sometimes, it can be rather hurting. Even biological brothers can become quiet "heartless". His mother is rather ill. One of his brothers (YQ) approached him. YQ told YR that he didn't have the means to chip in their mother's medical expenses and suggested that YR should bear all the medical expenses as his business is doing pretty fine. But shortly after, this brother bought a new car and was in Italy for a 25-day holiday. When asked, the reply was "that was the best time to buy a car and that was the best time to be in Italy".

(c) It is so expensive to get sick here (okay, anywhere, perhaps). The treatment can be so costly. But if you have the means to pay, the treatments (medical or attitudinal) can be better and different. Apparently different medicines are prescribed for a different price-tag-treatment. His mother medical fees can run up easily to a 6 figure sum, but the medicines prescribed are assured to have the least side-effects.

(d) The environment can change a person. He witnessed how CKe has changed. CKe is a very close friend of his and he works in Shanghai now. CKe proclaimed he only socialises for business purposes and has no time to socialise or meet up with friends now.

(e) Children are indeed smarter now. His daughter is only 2.5 year-old. She amazed me when I see how she tackled a 50 piece jig-saw puzzle. We may have more used to the "categorise-and-trial-and-error" approach. Her daughter is different. She would observe some of the already-joined pieces carefully and then she will search for what she wanted and attempt to fit that selected piece right in. While I was with her, she was 100% correct for all her first picks! I admit defeat.

(f) Your young subordinates maybe leading a "better" life than you. YR stays in a HDB flat and drives a Nissan. Many of his employees are staying in condos and driving big cars. These are fine with him. But when questioned, he learnt that these young employees do not have the habit of saving and some resort to taking parents' money to gratify their wants. These young employees even have the mentality that parents are obliged to provide these for them.

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小故事、大启示

The Most Beautiful Woman

"Imogen is on a quest to find the most beautiful woman in Singapore. Send in your nomination with pictures and tell us why she's the most beautiful woman you know. The winner will be the face of Imogen for our next big marketing campaign. Closing date is end of the month. Terms and conditions apply. Which means no dispute over the final decision by our judges?"

Within a few weeks, thousands of letters were delivered to Imogen Inc., Singapore.

One entry in particular caught the attention of the employees.

Because it generated so much attention, it was promptly handed to the company president.

With spelling corrections, an excerpt from the letter read: "A beautiful woman lives down the street from me. I visit her every day. She makes me feel like the most important kid in the world. She listens to my problems. She understands me and when I leave, she always tells me that she's proud of me. This picture shows you that she is the most beautiful woman. I hope I have a wife as pretty as her."

Intrigued by the letter, the president asked to see this woman's picture. His secretary handed him a photograph of a smiling, toothless woman, well-advanced in years, sitting in a wheelchair. Sparse gray hair was pulled back in a bun and the wrinkles that formed deep furrows on her face were somehow diminished by the twinkle in her eyes.

The company never did use that woman, and years later, when former employees of Imogen got together, they still related that ol' story about Mr Hu's reaction to the picture?

"We can't use this woman," explained the president, smiling. "She would show the world that our products aren't necessary to be beautiful."

Good Day . Hot Date . Sweat It Out!

Good Day : Meeting fine people. No one scolded me. All things went through smoothly, very much the way I like it.

Hot Date : Someone asked me out in the evening wor.

Sweat It Out : Someone asked me out in the evening for jogging lah. Panting like hell, you say hot or not? :P

Valentine’s Day.
I think it is still a fine day to remind us of LOVE. The emphasis has all along been placed on the better halves. Did we also remember our family, our friends? Of course, I’m talking about love in a slightly broader sense.

Love is important.
Let the demonstration of love, not be only a day’s affair. :)

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有一位圣者这么说：

当下的转念，其实是长期反省的累积；
及时地顿悟，其实是日常检讨的累积。

只有你现在先开始长期的反省与日常的检讨，慢慢的你已经成为习惯，你可以随时随地都这样做，自然而然在那个关键点就不会有错。

所以，即使在某些时候，你没有马上这样做，但你在事后也要开始反省检讨。只要你每次的反省检讨都不嫌晚、都肯落实用心，那么到最后你就都会来得及，不会有所遗憾。

Answers In Our Hearts?

Many were “reflecting” :

“These are the students that give me problems . . . ”, and they went on to elaborate the “who”, the “how” and the “why”… Oh well, I understand how all these can be very much of a “problem”. And I do have my fair share of concerns.

My fellow colleagues certainly have the students’ best interest at heart. I am not questioning that. Mm.. Just that… I am not too sure whether anyone is going to probe further, deeper and in quite a different direction that I am about to take.

(1) Coincidentally, these are also the students that make us think more. You agree?

(2) They challenged our abilities to guide them. We thought we are good, but these students seem to suggest we are not very much “in control”. Are we immediately going to question their attitude and should we also reflect on our ability?

(3) What if they did not do the assignments we gave them, but will do the assignments given by other teachers? Erps..

(4) Okay, what does it shows when they don’t do any work at all. We may say they are disappointing. But they could be feeling how the college has disappointed them, in the first place.

The list may go on…

I am not suggesting who’s more right, who’s more wrong. We should be asking ourselves, where is the most fundamental principle : “Can we talk?”

Communication is such an art, I feel.

When teaching is concerned, maybe one of the many responsibilities is to guide even the reluctant ones back to a sensible path. Hence, instead of viewing it as “these are the students that give me problems…”, maybe we can re-look it as “these are the students that may eventually make me grow.” I generally feel that in the process of “dealing” with them (if we whole-heartedly do so), we are also exploring ourselves at the same time. Ha.. So the “growing” is indeed mutual. :)

Maybe there is no such thing as problematic students, just teachers who are inexperience of how to deal with these students' “non-standard” behaviours.

Hey, I’m just exploring. I don’t know much about such as well.
The answers don’t lie in me.
Maybe the answers are all in our hearts. :)

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有一位圣者这么说：

有句话说：『书读百遍，其意自见。』就是说同样一本书，你读了一百遍，你就知道它到底在说什么。一定要用力之久，才会有融会贯通的一天。

能力不是用想象的，是要靠行动证明的。
只有一再去练习、一再去做，才会有完全不受限制的空间。

所以你想要有那一方面的能力，你就要不断地去做，不断的去练习，
而你不想要对那一方面的性质，那你就要不再去做，不再让它来阻碍你。

Was Attacked by Adware.BlockChecker

My system was attacked by Adware.BlockChecker since yesterday. Argg..
Spent some time just now to rectify the problem.

Actually I felt quite good for just being able to rectify the problem single-handedly. I have always considered myself for being quite an IT-idiot. A series of long IT-related instructions can "knock me off" effortlessly. I will be pretty amazed with myself when I can comprehend anything IT-related. Haha..

I was aimlessly searching and landed on this site. Cool. It's certainly very helpful.

Frankly, I never know such software exists before? But what's the use? Just to check who is blocking you in Instant Messenging Softwares? Haha.. How is such information going to help? I don't believe in it. I'm just glad I got rid of it forever.

Linguistically Fine ; Mathematically Unsound

Through an Instruction :

Through a Q & A :
Teacher: What is 2k + k?
Student: 3000!


Through an Expression :
"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."


Through a Letter :
When the math professor's wife returns home from work, she finds an envelope on the living room table. She opens it and finds a letter from her husband:

My dearest wife,
We have been married for nearly thirty years, and I still love you as much as on the day I proposed. You must realize, however, that you are now 54 years old and no longer able to satisfy certain needs I still have. I very much hope that you are not hurt to learn that, while you're reading this, I'm in a hotel room with an 18-year-old freshman girl from my calculus class. I'll be home before midnight.
Your husband, who will never stop loving you.

When the professor returns from the hotel shortly before midnight, he also finds an envelope in the living room. He opens it and reads:

My beloved husband,
You may recall that you, too, are 54 years old and no longer able to satisfy certain needs I still have. I thus hope that you are not hurt to learn that, while you're reading this, I am in a hotel room with the 18-year-old pool boy.
Your loving wife.
P.S. As a mathematician, you are certainly aware of the fact that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, don't stay up and wait for me.


Through a Story :
A mathematician went insane and believed that he was the differentiation operator. His friends had him placed in a mental hospital until he got better. All day he would go around frightening the other patients by staring at them and saying "I differentiate you!"

One day he met a new patient; and true to form he stared at him and said "I differentiate you!", but for once, his victim's expression didn't change. Surprised, the mathematician marshalled his energies, stared fiercely at the new patient and said loudly "I differentiate you!", but still the other man had no reaction. Finally, in frustration, the mathematician screamed out "I DIFFERENTIATE YOU!"
The new patient calmly looked up and said, "You can differentiate me all you like: I'm e to the power of x."


Through Some Pick Up Lines :
- Are you a differentiable function? Because I'd like to be tangent to your curves!
- You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum.
- My love for you is a monotonic increasing function of time.
- I am equivalent to the Empty Set when you are not with me.


Okay, a pretty lame entry today. :P


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有一位圣者这么说：

你虽然说你觉得自己在学着去感谢你的敌人、感谢反对、感谢破坏，可是你并没有改良、没有反省、没有再造，那么你的感谢是口头的、是敷衍的。这样的感谢只不过是一个道理。

真正的感谢，是你真的原意为对方来做改变，你才能够有所感动，你愿意为对方来修正自己，这样的感谢才是愈修愈圆满的。

Their Sparkling Eyes

Just the other day, I was walking down a long flight of stairs. Noticeably there were many primary school kids below. I think it’s their Sports Day or so (I didn’t bother to clarify) as they were in varying solid-one-colour t-shirt, much like “house t-shirt”.

I heard their teachers (I supposed) giving loud instructions to them, asking them to be in line, to be.. blah blah blah..
But when I reached half way down the stairs, almost half of all these kids (easily 30 of them or more) look up at me. I was much like mesmerized by them (by their sparkling eyes), no kidding. We know how kids “look” at something or someone. They were more like “staring”, in adult’s term. Haha.. I think that was rather lovely.

~ ~ Kid's Stares ~ ~
They are curious. They are pure. They are innocent.
Did we lose them when we grow?

So the kids were kept in line but I don’t think they were paying attention to their teachers' instructions. :P Two teachers looked over my direction as well. Erps.. They must have identified me as a source of “distraction”. I better get going. :)
*Not bad ah, still have enough *power* to "distract". :P

JW happened to be just nearby.

JW : This year is a good year. Go find a lady and have one yourself la.
Me : Erm.. This year? Not enough time liao lah.
JW : Enough. Only need 9 months what. Now only February.
Me : *dotz*...

JW was married not too long ago. I think he is also trying to have a baby. :)

He Commands The Stage

S appears to be a little shy in classroom. He certainly puts in his best effort, but is in constant worries that he may not do as well. To view this more positively, we say he has high expectation for himself. However, undeniably, he does not carry the air of confidence. It's a little difficult for me to imagine that he will take the lead in something. But this afternoon, I was most amazed.

There he was on stage (back facing me, though) "commanding" the college band. He appeared confident and every musical note rises and falls to his "command". I think that was way too cool!

When everything ended, he walked down and he noticed my presence. We exchanged smile. Oh, not just that. "Hey 'cher you are here ah", he added with quite a shy tone (again). Haha.. To me, he has quite many good things / skills I don't have / I don't know of.

Actually in that mini-concert, I also saw many of my *little pals. I quite like their confidence they exhibited while playing their instruments.

~ ~ The Stage ~ ~
It only serves to remind me : If we are humble enough, we can learn from everyone.

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有一位圣者这么说：
我们要知道全心的感谢，所有境况与角度，你都要全心的感谢。
虽然一切的成立都得自于朋友，但一切的改良都得自于敌人；
虽然一切的推动都得自于赞成，但一切的反省都得自于反对；
虽然一切的建设都得自于帮助，但一切的再造都得自于破坏。
无论这时候，或任何时候，你遇到的是什么；
无论这个人，或任何人，给予你的是什么，
只要你全心感谢，那他都将不是个遗憾，而是让你更圆满的机会。

From Nature I Learn..

In the midst of our meeting, R was talking about the beauty of flowers and J was talking about the charm of rainbow. They were so delighted and they went on and on...

I cannot deny that flowers and rainbows are all gems of nature. Their beauty and charm capture the mind of the young and the old alike and people show their appreciation to them in many different ways. A child can just stare at a rainbow with a smile with matching charm; a lady can nurse her garden of flowers with all her heart; a man can be equipped to capture the moments through photography, and so on.

I have this thinking that the nature is there to “teach” us something. Yes just by quietly observing. Let’s appreciate the beauty of flowers and the charm of rainbow. But... If we were to describe it more precisely, it will be just “fleeting” beauty and “fleeting” charm. Got it? Nothing, no matter how beautiful, is impermanent. Perhaps, it’s the impermanence nature of life we need to be aware of. That will be the lesson I learn.

I will still continue to enjoy the beauty of flowers and the charm of rainbows or any other aspects of nature. However, at the same time, I shall cherish the lesson nature is trying to teach us.

Knowing that the impermanence nature of life is the lesson, how would we live our lives? Mm..

珍惜当下或许是标准答案。
可是若只有口头上的珍惜，未免也不太了当。
看看自己心里对人、事、物，是否还有埋怨、计较。
既知无常之理，那咱又何必还在心里头挂？
来学习往圣先贤的宽容与礼让。
真明此理，心里一定无时舒畅。

~ ~ Flower & Rainbow ~ ~
If we were to see beyond their beauty and charm, what do we have?
I think I learn something. Do you?

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有一位圣职者的理念：
他人的明理是我们的光荣。
他人的正确是我们的庄严。
他人的振作是我们的希望。
他人的精进是我们的努力。
他人的高兴是我们的安慰。
他人的光明是我们的方向。
他人的提升是我们的进步。
他人的净化是我们的修养。
他人的成就是我们的义务。
他人合天心、符天意是我们的宗旨。
他人的埋怨是我们的惭愧。
他人的黑暗是我们的过失。
他人的烦恼是我们的失职。
一切的付出则是我们的本分。

Movies : 霍元甲 ; 小孩不笨2

Many said the movie 霍元甲 is good. I watched it and just have to agree.

One particular element impressed me most. It's not the display of martial art. Not that I don't like the martial art. I think it was rather artfully presented and had cast quite a deep impression in me. In fact, I also find that the martial art was depicted too bloodily and that rightfully earns the rating of NC16. But it narrows the audience group too much, not the way I like it actually. I would prefer more people to see, to witness the spirit of martial art within. Yes, I am most impressed with the way Huo changes his appreciation of the spirit of martial art. In fact I was pretty touched. Touched by the way how he was led to see the light and touched by the way he admitted his wrongful past and willingly made a come back with a righteous cause. Simply beautiful.

And.. wa.. in time of need, we see what true friendship is all about. I was also reminded friends need not be the one who always agree with you. Friends should have the responsibility to remind / correct the wrongs in each other.

- - - - - - - - - -

Those who had watched 小孩不笨2, told me how good the movie is. Again, I can only agree.

I gather the two messages (I think) the movie is trying to bring across :
(i) 互相沟通与关爱的重要性
Mutual communication and showing of care and respect for each other.
The importance of these cannot be undermined.

(ii) 赏识教育的提倡。
“Appreciation model” in education.
We ought to let the other person sense that we appreciate him or her as a person. We see hope in them. If one were to sense that we look down on him or her, all our praises and methods will not be effective at all.

There should be much more points to note, but the pea-brain of mine can only handle a few at a time.

I keep thinking (as I am observing) :

There are many people who claim they like the show and through the show they see the “problems” of society. So, they know the “problems” now. Maybe, I can also say I know the “problems” now.
Then are we part of the problems or the problems always solely belong to the society?

We say we value the importance of communication. Then how much are we open to communication ourselves?

We admit we know the importance of care and respect for each other. Then did we somewhat make an effort to demonstrate the “ideal” in any sense? Do we still choose to just hide it deep in our hearts? Do we still choose to care and respect for only our own belief and simply ignore the feelings of others?

We realise that Singapore should / must adopt the “appreciation model” in the education system, letting people know they are still wholesome individual that can be made better. But.. mm.. maybe there shouldn't be any "but". Just do it, if you believe in it.

Again, I am only trying to bring forth the idea : (real) changes should always begin in us.

I can't write any proper review, I think. No worries, most likely, you would have read or heard many proper ones already.

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有一位圣者这么说：
有句话说：『身怀利器，杀心自起』。
这句活就是说 --
人有能力以后，伴随能力而来的便是欲望，一种把能力据为己有的欲望，也因为这个欲望，你会吞噬你自己。

捞鱼生

The practice of 捞鱼生 was originated from Singapore many decades back. It was a common practice amongst the (rich) businessman to 捞鱼生 on the seventh day of the lunar new year, 人日. For this year’s calendar, the special day fell on 04/02/06 (Saturday). Ha.. yeah so.. you may have received some “Happy Birthday” wishes yesterday. :)

Mm..
Actually I don’t like to eat 鱼生, and I don’t like to 捞鱼生 at all. I think the symbolic tossing of food (mostly shredded vegetable) is messy. Sure, many Chinese practices are just symbolic. Imagine, when they are tossing the food, they go “越捞越起，捞到风生水起”, “ 捞啊！发啊！” or any other auspicious words of well-wishing. These well-wishings are all in line of the innermost desire for better wealth, better health for the new year. The thought of wishing each other is nice, but.. heh.. just glad they also eat the great mess of food they have created, and not toss it away.

Even though there is a strong believe that there shouldn’t be any killing on the special day, then why the raw fish is in the 鱼生? I don’t think they explain this well. Maybe 鱼 and 余 sounds exactly the same. 鱼 being fish and 余 suggests abundance. 生 being raw, but it can also mean emerging, growing as in 风生水起. So, the auspicious significance can overrule the strong believe. Mm..

The author also participated in 捞鱼生, when invited to join in. One condition : please remove the raw fish. I don’t believe in the practice, but I’m not anti-social mah. The practice itself is pretty harmless. At the end of it, these people seem to be happy or at least they seem to possess an element of hope, after the many well-wishing tossed at each other.

Have you ever wonder? Fish lives in the water. The water body is the world of the fishes. Let us say fishes are in control of the water bodies. Yeah so.. when we are traveling by sea, playing by the sea, are we not worry about the more literal sense of 风生水起 (the "uproars" of the wind... the "uproars" of the water)?

Many people who don’t practice 捞鱼生 are doing very much better than those who are ever so insistence on the practice every year. Perhaps, the key to better health, better happiness and better wealth lies elsewhere.

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有一位学者这么说：
劳谦学习是功德；用心生活是修行。

Gatherings . . .

My “itinerary” since yesterday early morning till now :
Sembawang – Yishun Ring Road – Ang Mo Kio Ave 6 – Suntec City – Millennium Walk – Selegie Road – Sembawang – Bishan St 24 – Woodlands Central – Sim Lim Square – Bencoolen Building – Ang Mo Kio Ave 10 – Sembawang ...

At different places, I was meeting almost different groups of people, engaging in quite different activities. I am tired, I got to admit. But I’m contented. :)

Gatherings :
Just finds it meaningful and interesting to see that everyone has grown and is doing (quite / very) fine.

"Practicality" of a Little Girl..

I was with my relatives. There were many little kids around. I heard one cute one "complaining" to her mother while pointing her little finger at me, "妈妈，为什么这个 Uncle 没有给我红包？"

Erm.. erm.. erm..
In fact, by "formality" or "appropriateness", I had just received one from her mother, which is still younger than me. :p

How many times are we puzzled by "formality" or "appropriateness"?
Strangely, I think I have reached a point that I feel a little awkward receiving Hongbao from someone. Looking at the cute little ones by my cousins, I really feel like giving what they want. Haha..
Oh, but to conform to "formality" or "appropriateness", I just have to tell the cute little ones asking for Hongbao from me, "You try again next year lor".

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有一位圣者这么说：
不要以我眼前以所拥有的幸福与安乐为满足；应当感恩现实环境，即使在逆境考验里，也比地狱、饿鬼与畜牲道的众生好多了，岂可埋怨颓丧，也不可骄傲自满。

Warmly Greeted by a Rascal

I visited JT's house. When the main gate was opened, a Jack Russell rushed through the gate, it jumped onto me. What a warm welcome I thought. I was pleasantly surprised. I even thought of extending my right hand to stroke it. I must have got the very wrong perception. When that Jack Russell was on me, the next thing it did was to open its jaws and snapped on my thigh just over my right knee (for a few times).

I wasn't scared. I didn't even retaliate or push it away. Strangely, I just let it have it ways on my thigh. No worries, I wasn't injured as I was wearing a pair of jeans. It just left a few patches of sticky saliva marks on my jeans and ... erm... a very tiny bruise. JT was near and he commanded that dog to stop. It stopped and it was reprimanded by JT, JT's sister and JT's father. They apologized profusely to me. Haha.. I don't mind, really. That dog is way too cute.

Come to think about it, I think I was the one that had broken the rule. I was still outside the gate and therefore was still considered a stranger attempting to walk into the dog's territory. I am only considered a friend of some sort, if I were to be led into the territory by its master. During the attack, I was literally outside its territory and was too near for comfort.

True enough, after I was led in by JT, and after the tongue-lashing from its masters, the dog walked towards me again. Erm.. I thought it was to be another attack. Nope. It walked over to me and licked me sheepishly this time and allowed me to stroke it. That was its way of saying sorry, I guess.

I stayed and spoke to JT's parents for a while. JT's father is really quite a speaker. He speaks well and is very well-mannered. It was a pleasant gathering.

We (JT, Ed and Me) left shortly and went for a simple lunch. We spent quite some time together to catch up with each others' life.

Rascal is the name of the Jack Russell.
JT and Ed are ex-*little pals of mine in year 2000 and 2001.
They have really grown to become young fine chaps. =)

~ ~ A Jack Russell ~ ~
It is always full of energy and is really hyper-active.
I will always remember the way it "apologized" to me, after its wrongful attack.
Does human apologize that readily?

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有一位圣者这么说：
自我放下减少无畏困扰，莫让感觉的情缘毁于一旦。