Meeting A Mother - I’d Learnt

Today, there was an arranged meeting with D’s mother.
I am not D’s CT and so most of the time I was only patiently listening to the conversations between different parties. But I feel a little urge now to blog about a portion of an interesting conversation. And in this particular conversation, I’d learnt.

Parent : How’s my daughter doing?
Teacher A : She’s attentive and basically she's quite a good girl.
Parent : Aiyah.. You don’t have to say until so nice. Just tell me straight what are her problems.
This parent was here and was certainly very determined to find the root of her daughter’s "problems". So, she first perceived the situation as “problems”.

There was one part of the conversation, which I find particular interesting…
Teacher A : You should also try to find the good qualities in her and praise her.
D’s Eldest Sister (DES) : But the many wrong/bad things she has done overshadowed the little right/good things she has done.
Parent : Correct hor.. (turning to DES).. Hey you as a third-party, do you remember me praising your younger sister ah? Oh gosh, I think I only “shoot” her leh.
(Now turning to Teacher A and she continued)..
People at her age, still need to be praised meh? I think I only praise her younger brother. I don’t remember praising her for anything.
Teacher A (smiling and in a gentle fashion ) : Mrs L. , even at our age, when we are praised, we also feel good, right?
Parent : Ya hor.. I think I will take your suggestion and remember to praise her. Aiyah, my husband also never praise me one.
The conversation continues..

I was pretty impressed by how positive/receptive this parent is.
I was particularly impressed by her ability to reflect on herself (instantaneously). When in doubt, she even turned and asked DES (her eldest daughter) to verify. In my heart, I actually smile. To me, this is such a beautiful quality.

Throughout the course of the day, I met many other parents. Some discussed issues too sensitive to be mentioned here. At the end of the day, the lesson I gathered would be the importance of communication. Things are always different when we adopt the other person's perspective.

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有一位圣者这么说：

你们要做一个『善导人』。
何谓善导人：『不妄语、不诳语、不虚言、不乱言』。
你给人的是一分心力的付出，你的话当中有精神，你的身上就有道。
若你心中有九分，表现出来的恰好有十分，就是虚伪。因为多了一分造作。