Any Value in Marriage?

I know A, B, C and D since my first year in university. Okay, we were classmates. They got along very well and not long after we had graduated. A married B and C married D. Glad for them, in a way.

Yesterday, in a large conference, I met A and B. But they were not walking together and they seemed to be busy with their own activities. During break time, I was seated with L and A walked over and talked to L (our common friend too).

L was asking, “… How’s B? …”
A replied rather expressionlessly, “… that was the past… ”, and she moved away.

Only then, I learnt that A and B have separated. They have at least one kid. Mm… While I was having casual talks with A and B, separately of course, I do observed eye bags, dark circles, tiredness, etc being worn on their faces. Haiz..

While talking with L, I further learnt that C and D have parted way too. Again they have at least one kid. I am not saying “kid” MUST be a kind of measure of “should” or “should not”, but… my feeling is for their kids now.

I didn’t ask them what went wrong. We have not been in contact for so long and I don’t think I am in any appropriate position to discuss that with them, unless they wish to discuss it with me. Mm..

In general, it left me thinking :
- Is there any value in marriage? I dearly hope the answer is an affirmative YES.
- Is it okay that when the “feeling” is gone, couples may just go on separate ways? Some argued that responsibility should not be a “binding” factor in a relationship. Oh well, I agree that responsibility is a natural consequence of love and usually not the other way round. I then question why there is a change of hearts in the first place?

There will naturally be signals along the way. Yes? No?

I am trying to imagine…
Even if the signals are staring at their faces, some may chose to talk about it, communicate in the good spirit of trying to work things out as nicely as possible. Some may keep quiet about it, keeping things in their hearts, allowing things to get out of hand, and erm … heh. That will be a sad "mis-management". But again, it takes two parties to work out, perhaps. I am not in any position to judge and I wouldn’t want to. These are just random thoughts crossing my mind at the time of typing.

Sad for them, in a way. Hope they live on well.